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The Watercooler
"We're knuckling down everyone"
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 230739" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy"><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> Funny, Star!</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy">We spoke this morning on the phone and we're on the same page as far as the 'outcome'...however, he is just so full of anger over difficult child quitting her job and failing school and his main comment was "I don't like the idea of browbeating difficult child with easy child sitting there because it upsets easy child and she then thinks we're coming down hard on her". </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy">To which I responded, "Hon, this is not about punishment. This is about "It's about high time you each started supporting yourself. We are not made of money and if you're able to do so, you should (easy child). And if you're not willing to do so, then you will suffer the consequences (difficult child)." I added some stuff in there about if he is incapable of speaking without lecturing or shaming or embarrassing or yelling, then he should just let me do all the talking. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy">His next comment was that he thinks it's silly for us to have a 'family meeting'. He said <em><strong>I</strong></em> should just quick and simple tell them (during dinner tonight) that he is no longer paying the insurance and so they better come up with a plan. And he said I should do it and he doesn't see why he has to be present. I actually banged the phone on my nice cherry wooden desk (thank goodness the boss is out today) until he shut up already. I said No, we need to be a team. It needs to be presented together so they each know right from the get go that A) we mean business, and B) they can't play us off one another and C) we agree. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy">We agree on the end result...it's getting there that may prove to be tricky. Oh and he said that since easy child will be paying all her own bills she shouldn't have to pay us the measly $140 rent per month! Her income is roughly $1680/month. Her car payment is $250, her insurance is $128 and her student loan is roughly $100 plus gas which is roughly $100. So, her mandatory expenses will come to $578/month, leaving roughly $1000 after taxes. So why can't she pay me the rent? That is the only thing we disagree on. Oh and he wants her to pay her own cell, which is part of his plan, so I am not sure how she will do that without breaking the contract and incurring a $175 fee. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy">difficult child? Well, we already know that no matter what how or when we say anything at all to her, she will throw a tantrum and leave. She will go whine to a friend and then slink home later and treat us like the evil parental spawn that we are. I am not concerned with how she reacts at all since it's all been done before. I cannot be affected by her. It's H that affects me and I told him so. I told him that he is going to have to control himself and not get into a screaming match or it will all go to he// in a handbasket and the meeting will have gone way off focus. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: navy">RM, thank you for sharing about your kids. I was completely on my own, living in an apt, paying a car loan and rent and insurance and groceries, clothing and still had some leftover for partying by the time I was 19. My parents moved 2400 miles away and I was alone. I survived it. So can mine, difficult child or not. I'm going to get one of those signs that says, "No Whining" and post it at the front door.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 230739, member: 2211"] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy]:raspberry-tounge: Funny, Star![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy]We spoke this morning on the phone and we're on the same page as far as the 'outcome'...however, he is just so full of anger over difficult child quitting her job and failing school and his main comment was "I don't like the idea of browbeating difficult child with easy child sitting there because it upsets easy child and she then thinks we're coming down hard on her". [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy]To which I responded, "Hon, this is not about punishment. This is about "It's about high time you each started supporting yourself. We are not made of money and if you're able to do so, you should (easy child). And if you're not willing to do so, then you will suffer the consequences (difficult child)." I added some stuff in there about if he is incapable of speaking without lecturing or shaming or embarrassing or yelling, then he should just let me do all the talking. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy]His next comment was that he thinks it's silly for us to have a 'family meeting'. He said [I][B]I[/B][/I] should just quick and simple tell them (during dinner tonight) that he is no longer paying the insurance and so they better come up with a plan. And he said I should do it and he doesn't see why he has to be present. I actually banged the phone on my nice cherry wooden desk (thank goodness the boss is out today) until he shut up already. I said No, we need to be a team. It needs to be presented together so they each know right from the get go that A) we mean business, and B) they can't play us off one another and C) we agree. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy]We agree on the end result...it's getting there that may prove to be tricky. Oh and he said that since easy child will be paying all her own bills she shouldn't have to pay us the measly $140 rent per month! Her income is roughly $1680/month. Her car payment is $250, her insurance is $128 and her student loan is roughly $100 plus gas which is roughly $100. So, her mandatory expenses will come to $578/month, leaving roughly $1000 after taxes. So why can't she pay me the rent? That is the only thing we disagree on. Oh and he wants her to pay her own cell, which is part of his plan, so I am not sure how she will do that without breaking the contract and incurring a $175 fee. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy]difficult child? Well, we already know that no matter what how or when we say anything at all to her, she will throw a tantrum and leave. She will go whine to a friend and then slink home later and treat us like the evil parental spawn that we are. I am not concerned with how she reacts at all since it's all been done before. I cannot be affected by her. It's H that affects me and I told him so. I told him that he is going to have to control himself and not get into a screaming match or it will all go to he// in a handbasket and the meeting will have gone way off focus. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][COLOR=navy]RM, thank you for sharing about your kids. I was completely on my own, living in an apt, paying a car loan and rent and insurance and groceries, clothing and still had some leftover for partying by the time I was 19. My parents moved 2400 miles away and I was alone. I survived it. So can mine, difficult child or not. I'm going to get one of those signs that says, "No Whining" and post it at the front door.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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