What a late afternoon/evening with difficult child:(

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Mar 2, 2013.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This afternoon in the mail my new (used) phone came in the mail-long story on that for another post maybe. Anyways, we decided to stop at Best Buy on the way to the health club to look for a protective case for the phone. We couldn't find one but husband did get something and even bought difficult child some new headphones.

    Then we went to the health club and difficult child was upset he couldn't play basketball because there was a tournament of some sorts going on.

    After the club difficult child was complaining he was hungry. husband and I decided we were as well and decided to go to Texas Roadhouse. difficult child wasn't super thrilled with the choice but there is food there he will eat.

    After that we went to the mall to see if we could find a cover for the phone at a kiosk there. No luck! husband asked difficult child if he wanted some ice cream. difficult child didn't want McDonald's ice cream or any from Culvers so we said o.k. While we were at the mall he asked for running shoes. We told him not today that he would need to wait until track started. He kept repeating that is what he wanted and we told him no.

    All the way home he kept complaining and started swearing. I tried to tell him he should be grateful for what he did have and the nice things we had done for him today (husband also took him to a movie today). He yelled at me to shut up and then husband got upset with him.

    When we got home he threw a huge fit. He was going to block husband from coming in the house and I told him he better not. Then he told me to shut the H***up and then called me a S***. husband was furious. We told him he could go to his room and he refused. Then we told him that we were done for the month doing things for him so he went to his room. He decided to go to his room and look up "homes for kids" on the internet. O.k. I have to admit I was laughing at this.

    difficult child kept raging (screaming and threatening to leave, etc..-no violence!). Of course, he still wasn't getting his way so he kept getting angrier. He said he wished he was dead. That is something he ever says so now I'm a bit concerned. Mostly I'm guessing he said it in anger to get our attention.

    He has apologized to husband but, of course, not to me as he sees me as the one who causes all things bad in his life. I'm always the bad guy!

    I know he has made a ton of progress in so many areas and I'm very happy about that but right now I'm so tired of the day in and day out garbage!
     
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Uggg I can so empathize. How do they get soooo stuck. It's way beyond the entitled /spoiled child kind of demand. (At least here, q is for sure not spoiled-- for things anyway)

    It's just so all about their urges and impulses and they get soooo stuck. I'm with ya. It gets old.
     
  3. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    Ugh. I am so sorry you have to deal with that koi. I am glad you are able to at least identify the progress but yea, the "old" behavior is sooo much harder to deal with when there HAS been progress. It's almost worse.

    {{{{HUGS}}}}
     
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Ug, hate not only the stuckness but the refusal to apologize, too.
     
  5. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I hear ya! I hate when they get stuck on something. Hope the rest of the weekend is better. (by the way, I would have loved to have been your difficult child today.)
     
  6. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That sounds exhausting .............sending you big bear hugs.............
     
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, boy, does that bring back memories! Talk about getting fixated on an issue. Sometimes, the more you buy and the more places you go, the more worked up they get. Maybe he was overstimulated and today will be better. I'm so sorry. I hope you got some sleep last night.
     
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Buddy-Wish I had the million dollar answer for how to get them unstuck. difficult child isn't spoiled either but someone watching him throw his fit might think he is. We rarely take him to any store because this often happens.

    HaoZi-Yeah, I hate the no apology thing too. Surprisingly, he did apologize to me this morning for his behavior at church and home.

    Tedo-You are right, sometimes it seems harder because expectations go up.

    Stressed-Thank you-I thought he should be happy to be him yesterday too!

    RE-Thank you-I can use the hugs.

    Terry-Thankfully I did get some sleep last night. difficult child conked out around 7:30 and husband and I had time to destress a bit!

    He started the day on a very rocky note. I'm just hoping this is not the beginning of March madness!! Last year he was fine during March but many years he is not!
     
  9. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I know exactly how a day like this goes because that has gone on with our difficult child as well. He's gotten things that he needed/wanted. Gotten his way on some things. The first time the answer is not what he wants to hear all heck breaks loose and suddenly things get really ugly really quick. difficult child does some of the same things. "I wish I was dead. I wish I had a mother who actually knew how to be a good mother. I'm going to leave and never come back." To that last ones I think to myself " I should only be so lucky."

    I don't know why they revert to the ugly, nasty behavior. They know that it does not work. I think that it's some kind of power trip. They're hoping that of they suddenly seem powerful enough they will get their way.

    I hope that today is a better day with him.
     
  10. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    WO,

    Your day sounds similar to the day in and day out "garbage" husband and I experienced while difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 were growing up. in my humble opinion, maybe some of it has to do with sensory overload, being overly stimulated as Terry already mentioned. This was definitely the case with my difficult children, especially if they were having fun. It seemed like the more fun they had, the worse their behavior. It used to drive me to the "edge!!"

    If difficult child 2 was in the middle of a "melt-down" and we were ignoring it, then he would begin shouting that he was going to kill himself. In his case it was just used as an attention getting tactic. Both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 would call us, especially me, every derogatory word they could think of, shouting these hateful words on the top of their lungs. Like your difficult child, both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 believed I was the cause of every bad thing in their lives and let me know this every time they "melted."

    Both of my difficult children told me they were going to leave home, never come back. difficult child 2's attempts at this were comical (now, not then) as he would make a huge deal over leaving, walking down the stairs, taking his "puppet" with him, waiting for me to stop him. I used to tell him that if things were so miserable here, then I hoped he found another "family" to live with. difficult child 2 never carried through with his threats. on the other hand, difficult child 1's threats to leave were scary. He used to take off and we would be frantically worrying about him, scared out of our minds that something would happen to him.

    On the positive side, your difficult child has come such a long way - No violence is a huge step in the right direction!! However, I totally understand how draining an episode like this is. I'm very glad he fell asleep early and you and husband had some quiet time to unwind.

    Keeping my fingers crossed this isn't the beginning of "March Madness..." Thinking of you, hoping today is a better day... Hugs... SFR
     
Loading...