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The Watercooler
What a surprise. Father actually did not call.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 642476" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>MWM...."it's your fault I did it!" Yep. That says a lot. Creepy, inexplicable, illogical, infuriating...sickening, confusing,etc.</p><p></p><p>Witzend....yes, that "poor me, poor pitiful me," routine was the norm for my father as well, even though he actually had it GOOD! Good looks, good health, a doting wife, a good daughter who got good grades and stayed out of trouble, a doting mother, a steady job...etc. they are liars, manipulator and users. It's extra shocking coming from a parent. I thought I had fully comes to terms when it by the time he died...I was about the same age as you are now. But his death brought up more stuff and I had a little more work to do. It is shocking and sad how deep and pervasive their damage goes.</p><p></p><p>Dazed and Confused...my heart goes out to you. I wonder if you were one of the ones that wrote to me when my difficult child/narcissistic father died about two years ago. Your father sounds like the classic narcissist. My father was handsome, charming and manipulative too. Yes, they "act" certain parts to get what they want and are good at fooling people, particularly outsiders. I believe my father had sociopathic tendencies. You validated what I have suspected all along....just like the extreme and unique difficulties of having a difficult child child...having a difficult child parent, particularly a narcissistic and /or sociopathic parent can be devastating and sometimes it takes a VERY long time to figure it all out and the damage is pervasive. I'm so glad you no longer believe his lies. If you haven't done so already, please consider therapy. I did this for years and I also read (mostly in the past) uplifting spiritual material for support. Ironically, I like AA literature too, even though I'm not a drinker. I have two very close friends, and they have brought much love and peace to my life, as well as a loving, kind, patient husband. These people have been my support system.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are close to your mom and it is wonderful she had the strength to divorce your father. My mother never did and died at age 49 of cancer. The story is horrifying and as you can guess, my father did not help her one bit...in fact...made her last days even worse. It haunts me.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you caught on and stopped communication with your father who caused you so much pain. It was the healthy choice to make. Wishing you continued strength.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 642476, member: 4152"] MWM...."it's your fault I did it!" Yep. That says a lot. Creepy, inexplicable, illogical, infuriating...sickening, confusing,etc. Witzend....yes, that "poor me, poor pitiful me," routine was the norm for my father as well, even though he actually had it GOOD! Good looks, good health, a doting wife, a good daughter who got good grades and stayed out of trouble, a doting mother, a steady job...etc. they are liars, manipulator and users. It's extra shocking coming from a parent. I thought I had fully comes to terms when it by the time he died...I was about the same age as you are now. But his death brought up more stuff and I had a little more work to do. It is shocking and sad how deep and pervasive their damage goes. Dazed and Confused...my heart goes out to you. I wonder if you were one of the ones that wrote to me when my difficult child/narcissistic father died about two years ago. Your father sounds like the classic narcissist. My father was handsome, charming and manipulative too. Yes, they "act" certain parts to get what they want and are good at fooling people, particularly outsiders. I believe my father had sociopathic tendencies. You validated what I have suspected all along....just like the extreme and unique difficulties of having a difficult child child...having a difficult child parent, particularly a narcissistic and /or sociopathic parent can be devastating and sometimes it takes a VERY long time to figure it all out and the damage is pervasive. I'm so glad you no longer believe his lies. If you haven't done so already, please consider therapy. I did this for years and I also read (mostly in the past) uplifting spiritual material for support. Ironically, I like AA literature too, even though I'm not a drinker. I have two very close friends, and they have brought much love and peace to my life, as well as a loving, kind, patient husband. These people have been my support system. I'm glad you are close to your mom and it is wonderful she had the strength to divorce your father. My mother never did and died at age 49 of cancer. The story is horrifying and as you can guess, my father did not help her one bit...in fact...made her last days even worse. It haunts me. I'm glad you caught on and stopped communication with your father who caused you so much pain. It was the healthy choice to make. Wishing you continued strength. [/QUOTE]
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What a surprise. Father actually did not call.
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