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what actually constitutes a suspension (or change in placement?)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 406857" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>If you don't want hi put with the Difficult Child kids, and that is where they are pushing to place him, pull him out for home-schooling at that point but also make it clear to the education authorities (go higher than the school - it's almost time to do that now) that this school has failed to meet its legal obligations for your child. They are actively discriminating against hi; they always choose to believe the other person vs him, even where it's a "e said, she said" situation. They are not providing supervision where they are supposed to. They are leaving him wide open to bullying and hassling. He got beaten up - what has happened to the other kid? Because in incidents where your son has been provoked and then lashed out, HE has been punished with suspension and more. This is not equitable.</p><p></p><p>I said before - this sounds so familiar, it is scary. difficult child 3 had horrible experiences at our local primary school, but even so he has fared better than other kids we've met. One really lovely kid, very gentle and a good student, was getting hassled so much by peers that he was repeatedly beaten up, several times knocked unconscious and needing hospital. This was often filmed and put on YouTube. The boy has Asperger's. The school did nothing to punish the perpetrators. With one incident that had this boy in hospital, and the YouTube film clip clearly showing the attack, the school tried to suspend the victim for fighting! The police said they could do nothing. We met this boy when he was started in the same correspondence school class as difficult child 3. We saw him blossom - he left the correspondence school two years ago, to complete his schooling through our adult education colleges. This boy went from being scared of his own shadow, to acing every subject every year he was at difficult child 3's school.</p><p></p><p>For us, correspondence works better than anything. There are ways of home-schooling a kid in this situation, without it all falling on you as an ogre. Before I had the correspondence school I was de-facto home-schooling, and I relied on the computer, on educational software and on documentaries. The carrot for difficult child 3 - NO HOMEWORK. Because it ALL becomes homework, and if he works it right, he can get it all done during school hours.</p><p></p><p>We kept a Communication Book for all of difficult child 3's mainstream schooling. He spent some days last week reading them. He then came to me in tears. "I never had a chance, did I?" he said. I told him that was very perceptive of him, but he was not the failure here. The school system had failed him badly. But now, the current placement was wonderful for him and they were doing their utmost for him, because they believe in him and acknowledge he has a right to this.</p><p></p><p>What is happening to your son, is damaging him. You will have your work cut out to undo the damage. Every time they do this sort oft hing to him, it sends a message to your son that he is a bad kid because of how he's made; that he is horrible, that he is dangerous, and that whatever he does, he will always be punished because that is what he deserves.</p><p></p><p>When we first transferred difficult child 3 from the local school where the bullies got at him regularly and the school did not stop it, there was a very telling (and very minor) incident. The kids were pouring out of the classroom and, being new, difficult child 3 was slow and hesitant. Another boy shoved past and said, "Out of my way, dummy!" </p><p>difficult child 3 however, just stood there looking at the kid and said calmly, "Go on. Hit me."</p><p>The other boy, to his credit and according to indoctrinated school policy, ran and got a teacher - the principal, as it happened (who was the person who told me of this). He worked out - difficult child 3 was so used to the pattern of behaviour from bullies - first the name calling, then the inevitable beating - that he just wanted this kid to hurry up and get it over with. </p><p></p><p>Very sad.</p><p></p><p>I rang the SpEd on Thursday after difficult child 3's teary session over his realisation of past bad treatment. The SpEd pointed out, "He has made amazing progress since he started here. When I think what he was like to begin with, how we had to shadow him around other kids, how we had to sit with him when we had Study Days, or you had to sit with him to keep him on task, how he would sometimes curl up in his chair, we got no eye contact - now he's marvellous!"</p><p></p><p>When you can place him (including in your own home) where he feels safe, he will relax and begin to heal.</p><p></p><p>This school is not a safe place.</p><p></p><p>But legally, it should be. Legally, you have rights. But you need a lawyer of sorts. This is such a vital human rights issue, there could well be a pro bono lawyer available via a welfare organisation, to help you with this. it's worth asking. Or you could (if you have to actually start proceedings) take on a lawyer on a contingency basis.</p><p></p><p>From what I know now - I wish I had sued. Even though the teachers and principal were basically nice people who are my neighbours and friends. They still let my child down. MY child. And in a choice between my friends and my child, I know who I should have sided with.</p><p></p><p>And this is coming from an Aussie - we tend to not take legal action here, our legal system is set up for informal mediation, as the first step in everything. So if I say, "I wish I had sued," it really means something.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 406857, member: 1991"] If you don't want hi put with the Difficult Child kids, and that is where they are pushing to place him, pull him out for home-schooling at that point but also make it clear to the education authorities (go higher than the school - it's almost time to do that now) that this school has failed to meet its legal obligations for your child. They are actively discriminating against hi; they always choose to believe the other person vs him, even where it's a "e said, she said" situation. They are not providing supervision where they are supposed to. They are leaving him wide open to bullying and hassling. He got beaten up - what has happened to the other kid? Because in incidents where your son has been provoked and then lashed out, HE has been punished with suspension and more. This is not equitable. I said before - this sounds so familiar, it is scary. difficult child 3 had horrible experiences at our local primary school, but even so he has fared better than other kids we've met. One really lovely kid, very gentle and a good student, was getting hassled so much by peers that he was repeatedly beaten up, several times knocked unconscious and needing hospital. This was often filmed and put on YouTube. The boy has Asperger's. The school did nothing to punish the perpetrators. With one incident that had this boy in hospital, and the YouTube film clip clearly showing the attack, the school tried to suspend the victim for fighting! The police said they could do nothing. We met this boy when he was started in the same correspondence school class as difficult child 3. We saw him blossom - he left the correspondence school two years ago, to complete his schooling through our adult education colleges. This boy went from being scared of his own shadow, to acing every subject every year he was at difficult child 3's school. For us, correspondence works better than anything. There are ways of home-schooling a kid in this situation, without it all falling on you as an ogre. Before I had the correspondence school I was de-facto home-schooling, and I relied on the computer, on educational software and on documentaries. The carrot for difficult child 3 - NO HOMEWORK. Because it ALL becomes homework, and if he works it right, he can get it all done during school hours. We kept a Communication Book for all of difficult child 3's mainstream schooling. He spent some days last week reading them. He then came to me in tears. "I never had a chance, did I?" he said. I told him that was very perceptive of him, but he was not the failure here. The school system had failed him badly. But now, the current placement was wonderful for him and they were doing their utmost for him, because they believe in him and acknowledge he has a right to this. What is happening to your son, is damaging him. You will have your work cut out to undo the damage. Every time they do this sort oft hing to him, it sends a message to your son that he is a bad kid because of how he's made; that he is horrible, that he is dangerous, and that whatever he does, he will always be punished because that is what he deserves. When we first transferred difficult child 3 from the local school where the bullies got at him regularly and the school did not stop it, there was a very telling (and very minor) incident. The kids were pouring out of the classroom and, being new, difficult child 3 was slow and hesitant. Another boy shoved past and said, "Out of my way, dummy!" difficult child 3 however, just stood there looking at the kid and said calmly, "Go on. Hit me." The other boy, to his credit and according to indoctrinated school policy, ran and got a teacher - the principal, as it happened (who was the person who told me of this). He worked out - difficult child 3 was so used to the pattern of behaviour from bullies - first the name calling, then the inevitable beating - that he just wanted this kid to hurry up and get it over with. Very sad. I rang the SpEd on Thursday after difficult child 3's teary session over his realisation of past bad treatment. The SpEd pointed out, "He has made amazing progress since he started here. When I think what he was like to begin with, how we had to shadow him around other kids, how we had to sit with him when we had Study Days, or you had to sit with him to keep him on task, how he would sometimes curl up in his chair, we got no eye contact - now he's marvellous!" When you can place him (including in your own home) where he feels safe, he will relax and begin to heal. This school is not a safe place. But legally, it should be. Legally, you have rights. But you need a lawyer of sorts. This is such a vital human rights issue, there could well be a pro bono lawyer available via a welfare organisation, to help you with this. it's worth asking. Or you could (if you have to actually start proceedings) take on a lawyer on a contingency basis. From what I know now - I wish I had sued. Even though the teachers and principal were basically nice people who are my neighbours and friends. They still let my child down. MY child. And in a choice between my friends and my child, I know who I should have sided with. And this is coming from an Aussie - we tend to not take legal action here, our legal system is set up for informal mediation, as the first step in everything. So if I say, "I wish I had sued," it really means something. Marg [/QUOTE]
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