What age for bra's?

[DammitJanet]

Monkey has suddenly decided she wants to wear a bra. I think its because Mandy said something to her about her needing one soon. Why she said that I have no clue. Monkey also sees the girls in gymnastics wear those two piece outfits.

Well the last time I had her she forced me to go buy her a couple of sets. Of course they hare nothing but flat fabric that look like a bra. I talked her out of the padded ones! I told her she had to have something to actually go in those before she could get them...lol. The ones I got her are very cute and she loves coming back to the house and taking off her shirt so everyone can see them...lmao. I can only imagine what her other family thinks. Several of them are sports bra's which make some sense. The other's look like real bra's.

Personally I think some of this is that she dresses up so much in the pageants that she feels older. Heck in some of her outfits she looks like a young teen!

I am going to hold off on make up unless its play stuff. Thankfully she isnt into painting her nails. Mouse just likes to get a hold of markers and draw all over everything. Last weekend when she was here she somehow got a hold of a permanent marker Tony had and scribbled all over my kitchen floor. And everyone wonders why I have the container of Monkey's crayons and markers put up where she shouldnt be able to reach them...lol.

 

[BusynMember]

Janet, neither of my girls WANTED bras...lol. Well, not until they needed them. So I just bought 'em when I started seeing that bounce!

Jumper developed early and with her basketball and volleyball and jumping around...and all they wear is these sports bras, which don't have much support..all of the sport's girls wear them....well, whatever. The guys must like watching it. No wonder they are such avid fans of the girls...lol.

 

[DDD]

Here comes the spoiled sport post, lol. Although I would not have bought her bras I don't see any harm in her having some. BUT I really believe that she needs to be told right now that bras are called underwear because like panties they are not to be displayed to anyone. You've posted before about your family being comfortable with ?? partial nudity ?? and I am not trying to alter how you believe BUT I think she needs stricter rules at both homes.

She is not just a cute little early elementary school girl. She is gorgeous. She has a history of dressing beautifully, wearing make up and "strutting her stuff" in years of competition. With her bioMom there is no telling what she has heard that is inappropriate for her age. She's a magnet. It may sound like old age paranoia but if she is eager to wear "big girl" clothing I really think she must know right now that only little little girls can show their underwear and she has to be modest. I see it as a safety issue. Sigh! DDD

 

[Hound dog]

I think..............due to pageants and her being gorgeous...........I would stress she is a little girl right now. Bras are underwear for big girls who need them, and explain why they need them. Unless they develop early, girls usually don't need training bras until around age 10 or so.

Monkey is only going to get one childhood.

Katie started asking at 6. Biomom asked me, we discussed it, I am pretty sure biomom didn't get her one until around age 10/11 when she needed it.

easy child started asking early too because Katie (five years older) was wearing them. She didn't get one until around the same age as Katie. She nearly drove me nuts over it.

Nichole had zero interest. Hers was a little early because it was needed. She hated it.

I don't think it's a big deal other than the fact that little girls see it as a stage of growing up. Know what I mean?? I think we as a society now push our kids out of their childhoods, then wonder why we're faced with very immature teens/adults.

DDD makes very good points as well.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Letting have the little "sports bra" type is no big deal. It really is no different than an undershirt, or cami. (just shorter) I let both of my girls wear those when they wouldn't wear an undershirt, but weren't quite ready for a bra. We call it the "nubbin'" stage.

 

[susiestar]

Jess got them when she needed them. Period. One day in second grade I picked her up from a new friend's house and was truly appalled to see what the mom was not just allowing but encouraging. The picture of her little daughter running around in a turquoise bra sized about an F cup stuffed with socks. J was in fighting not to cry because she did not want to run around with-o a shirt in a giant bra stuffed with socks. The girl's mom and older bro were calling J names, really ugly ones, because she didn't think it was fun. I got J out of there and the next day at school I pulled the mom aside and chewed on her. I didn't do it in front of the kids because it was not appropriate.

Given how much emphasis has been put on Monkey being attractive and on dressing her as a teen or twenty something, I think thingsthat make her look more adult may be dangerous. Not only does it take away her childhood by imposing adult standards that may or may not be appropriate for adults (that is a personal decision), it also sexualizes her at an early age. There is good research that shows correlations between early sexualization and being victimized by predators. she is flat out gorgeous, and given the people her mother chooses as SO's, she is prime bait to be groomed or worse.

That would be my worry at this time, plus I don't feel it is appropriate for a girl as young as Monkey to be dressing in a sexualized or more adult manner. I would ABSOLUTELY insist that she NOT show everyone how pretty her bras are or wear just the bra around the house. Bras are underwear and I would stress that in your house she does not show her underwear off to her entire family or to friends, esp not while wearing them.

Of course that is my bias, and it is not my place to tell you how to raise Monkey. I don't have to live with her or her father and grandfather.

 

[AnnieO]

Biomom put Belle in a padded underwire bra at age 8.

She did not need it till age 11, and then hardly an underwire! And I took her bra shopping then. I was appalled, we couldn't find anything without tons of padding and underwire. (I hate underwire!)

So the ones we bought her were cute but reasonable... Biomom bought her Victoria's Secret. She swore she was a daughter for a long time... But the few times I did laundry, there was enough insulation in them for a house. Held one up and it was actually smaller than me - and I'm not huge. (I hit a D while nursing but have been a B+ for years).

Rose will get one when she needs it, be that age 9 or 17. Camis are fine.

 

[1905]

I see people of all ages wearing those sport bra type things as though they were a shirt. They're workout wear and I see nothing wrong with that as underwear instead of an undershirt. That would be a compromise. I can understand how she may feel too big for undershirts but definitely too small for a bra, you could reasonably call that a bra. I think,... I have no idea anything about girls. Also, in her own home, it's perfectly fine for a kid to be in that. My own take their pants off as soon as they come in the door. They walk around in their boxers, it's our house.

 

[witzend]

I had nothing to put into a bra until I was 40. But, when they start to be an age where they're showing and boys are looking, something should be worn to stop "wardrobe malfunctions".

 

[DammitJanet]

Well the only people she shows here are me and Papa. I would definitely not get her a padded one because that is just insane. I couldnt believe they came in sizes like adults...30, 32, 34 etc. This girl wears a size 32! Well she doesnt like anything super tight so I probably got it a size larger but even so...that seems big to me. I would have thought they would come in sizes like underwear.

When she is here she only wears something pretty, like her one dress...when there is a reason. Here it is either jeans or shorts. So she has two that look like a bra, 2 that are definitely sports bra's and 2 that are like half camie's except that they have elastic around the bottom line.

I really dont think she would have started wanting them until Mandy said something to her. She certainly sees mine and there is NOTHING wonderful there...lol. I told her it may be fun now while she doesnt need it but when she does have to wear one she will hate it!

I think we have a much bigger problem with the way she sorta changes when boys are around. She starts flirting in the way 2nd grade girls flirt. Its not like a grown up would do it but she makes comments to them like "you're gonna fall down and Im gonna laugh at you!" Then the boy chases her and tries to pull her hair...lol.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

My answer to "what age for bra's?" would be when it's necessary. Kids grow up way too fast these days - she's too young for a bra, in my opinion.

 

[DammitJanet]

Yeah Im probably stupid but I hope its just a fad for her and she will get tired of them when something else comes along. She also loves her pink cammo outfit too and wanted Papa to take her to a turkey shoot but I dont think that is gonna happen this year. I think she is sorta stuck in that in between age.

Yall will problem think I have lost my mind but I am starting her on a doll collection. This first doll hasnt been reborn but he is anatomically correct. I am having a woman make her a set of boy/girl twins for her birthday. Those will be reborn's. After that, every year she will get a new reborn doll. I am going to learn to make them myself because they are worth a pretty penny. She has always been a doll person. Every Xmas she has asked for a doll.

 

[Star*]

Well I don't know the answer to what AGE for a bra.....but what TIME to get RID of a bra is about 30 seconds after you actually put the )(#%$( on.....I'm test driving a Victoria Secrets shirt/bra and so far except for it clashing with peri-menopause and making me feel like the temperature is set at he//? It's tolerable.

 

[DammitJanet]

Well I will never get it off of her now. She is so tickled to death with hers. I have put my foot down though on padded bra's. Gosh she is growing up so fast. Seems like just yesterday we were potty training!

 

[Hound dog]

Well I don't know the answer to what AGE for a bra.....but what TIME to get RID of a bra is about 30 seconds after you actually put the )(#%$( on.....I'm test driving a Victoria Secrets shirt/bra and so far except for it clashing with peri-menopause and making me feel like the temperature is set at he//? It's tolerable.

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Forget peri-manopause, I've been that way since my mother first forced me to wear one.