What an :censored2: psychiatrist! I am fuming!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Alisonlg, May 24, 2007.

  1. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Well, let me just say that my first appointment with this psychiatrist was NOT a pleasant one! Of course, to start things off on the wrong foot, M put up a fight. He started out in a "high" mood this morning and I had to wake him up from a nap to take him and he was like NO WAY am I going to the DR! Ugh. So, I bribed him out the door with TWO marbles for his reward jar and McDonalds. Out the door we went.

    Once we got to the Dr's office, his tune changed, however. I had to drag him into the office and then he started melting down...hiding behind chairs...bolting out the door and down the hallway...I had to barracade the door and he was hurting me trying to get the door open...he finally hid under some chairs and I sat in a separate room.

    The Dr FINALLY was ready to see us AN HOUR LATE and by this point, M was tipping chairs over in the waiting room, endagering other patients. Ugh.

    So, I'm trying to give the psychiatrist a full history and he keeps cutting me off and telling me to skip over this and skip over that...jump ahead to this...jump ahead to that...

    Says he wants to take M off the Strattera because he's not clear on why he's even on it...well, if you had actually ASKED about any of M's symptoms, maybe you would have heard about ALL of the ADD symptoms he has. I explained that while he may be having increrased meltdowns the past few days, it's for good reason...the past few days he has had HUGE stressors added...Day Program and this Dr appointment and he doesn't know it yet, but he'll be changing schools. Other than that, I think the Strattera has been helping him. I'm hesitant to take him off of it.

    Then he says he wants to up the Seroquel. Ok...I don't know enough to argue against that. So, we're upping the 200 mg a day to 400 mg a day.

    I asked him if he'd ever Rx a PRN for extreme rages and he said no...they never work (funny...they work in the psychiatric hospital). He said the time they take to kick in is too long. I'm thinking M raged for FOUR HOURS yesterday...a PRN probably could have saved me at least 2 of those hours. Maybe I'm just out of my mind. After all, he is the dr, not me.

    So, then I ask if I can ask psychiatrist a question privately, away from M. So, we go back to his office and I ask him if he has any suggestion for when we go to the PPT meeting at the new school tomorrow and he freaks out...what can I do? This is what he says to me:

    "I have a grim scenario for you...your child does not have leukemia...he's not dying...but you brought me a very mentally ill child. He's had two very recent inpatient stays and he's very sick. And it's been brewing and building for a very long time and this is the first help you've gotten him. So, you've either been ignoring it or you've been in a very serious denial!"

    Oh My F*&#ING GOD! Did this man just actually say this to me! I swear to God. I still can't see straight! Had he actually given me the time to take a complete and thorough history, he would know that NO, he has NOT ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS...not THIS EXTREME! Yes...he's always been "O.D.D."...obviously...we sought an evaluation when he was 3 years old for goodness sakes...but he has not been in crisis for 5 years and we've just been ignoring it! This man just accused me of watching my child mentally deteriorate before my eyes and I just figured heck, i'll get him some help now...why the heck not? OMG. I am livid. Completely LIVID.

    How can I trust this man? How can I work with him in the care of my child? He didn't bother to take a complete history! He didn't LISTEN to the whole picture and he's just going to dole out medication like it's nothing.

    THEN THEN THEN....this is what he says to me....

    "YOU MAY HAVE TO HAVE A KID WHO IS SEDATED AND DROOLING FOR A WHILE JUST TO GET THROUGH SOME TIME FOR A WHILE"

    OMG...did you just say that to me?

    AGAHGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAHGAHGAHG

    Why is this man the ONLY pediatric psychiatrist on my insurance plan in a 100 mile radius???? AGH!

    Then, after M destroyed his waiting room, we left and M bolted and hid somewhere in the office building for about 10 minutes until I was able to find him, drag him out to the car, restrain him so I could get the van door to close, and drive home.

    I was so upset, I couldn't think straight. I stopped by the bank and made a deposit in the ATM...I'm not even sure if I punched in the correct numbers. I came home and cried all over my lunch.
     
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow. I would not be looking forward to going back there. Perhaps you should gently clarify some things in a letter to psychiatrist that you humbly suggest is place into difficult children file. Tread lightly - you do not have alot of options. Sort of grin and bear it, I think.

    You will not be able to rely on this psychiatrist to allow you comfort and security while in his care - at least not right away.

    I am so sorry! I would be crying, too!

    :grrr:
     
  3. KateM

    KateM Member

    OMG! Can't believe you had to go through this!!

    Since he's the only psychiatrist your insurance will pay for, could you pay out of pocket and go to someone better? We have done this through the years and it has been worth it to us. After your son is stabilized, he would most likely just need to go every other month.

    So sorry you went through this!
     
  4. BestICan

    BestICan This community rocks.

    Oh no! I'm so so sorry to hear about this. I'm fuming right along with you. I don't understand what could possibly be gained, in his mind, from chastising you for "not getting help" when you are clearly there asking for his help!

    That kind of attitude is poor patient relations, it shows horrible insight into the human condition, and it's just plain arrogant and ineffective. He obviously feels he has free reign to act this way since so many patients are stuck with him. I say dump him if at all possible. Maybe you can pay out of pocket for an initial assessment and getting difficult child more stabilized elsewhere, then transfer back to this annoying guy for medication management?

    For my crappy health plan, there's only one neurologist and I thought my difficult child was stuck with him. But then I found that everyone in my plan is entitled to go to another doctor for a "second opinion." Somehow after getting authorization for this doctor, we were allowed to keep seeing her for future appointments. It wouldn't hurt to try to appeal to your insurance on those grounds.

    Good luck, and don't give up! There's hope for you with a better psychiatrist!
     
  5. CCRidr2

    CCRidr2 Sheena-Warrior Momma

    "SEDATED AND DROOLING"?????????? You have GOT to be kidding!! OMG!!!!!! :surprise::faint: I would drive 100 miles to get AWAY from that guy even with the price of gas these days!

    ((((((HUGS))))))))
    and prayers!

    Cyndi
     
  6. jal

    jal Member

    Alison,

    I am sorry for what you have been through. I sent you a PM.
     
  7. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Its so frustrating when your hands are tied like this.

    I've not been in this situation. I was close with our neurologist, but I did have another option 50 miles the other direction. Close enough to take...

    But, I think I would write your insurance company. Any names you can find, ask for a "pre-determination" and ask to see another doctor. Write the letter, mail it, mail copies to lots of people, then call them. No idea if it would work or not, but it can't hurt. They're in this to make money, that man's not going to make them money.

    Do you have a primary care physician or anyone else in the picture right now that is "on board" with you? Or perhaps his previous doctor that started the prescriptions or docs that worked with him when he was inpatient? I'd write a letter (or a phone call or even an appointment without M, if you can) to them, explain (calmly) what happened, and ask for options. In our case, a nurse practitioner from my son's primary doctor went with us to the neuro that we couldn't seem to get along with, and it worked well. There may be options like that available.

    And I don't think I'd hesitate to write this doctor a letter and explain the full history, and that you felt he ignored important details. Write one now, while you're still mad, but don't mail it. Wait a couple days to calm down and rewrite it, emphasizing on the need to work together, and use your "mad" letter to be sure you referenced everything you wanted in a less "heated" way.

    Don't give up. I do not beleive your son is doomed to a life of "sedated and drooling" just yet. That's scarey.
     
  8. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Oh I am so sorry... While our psychiatrist is not quite such an ----- as your's I am in the same boat... she is the only one we can go to in our area, the only one taking patients!!! Lame. The whole situation is horrible!

    I would have been furious... I honestly don't know what I would have done, in your situation? Laugh in his face, yell or cry!?!?!

    My gosh what a dismall apt. There has got to be a better option. For all of us.

    Sending hugs.
     
  9. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I am so sorry. Please, please, take care of yourself. Take some time to regroup. Deep breaths.

    You have options. None are very nice, but you have them.

    I am so very sorry that you had to go through this today. Gentle hugs and prayers.
     
  10. lordhelpme

    lordhelpme New Member

    i would make a formal complaint to my insurance company and ask if they can find you another in network dr. there is no reason why you should not be able to go somewhere else at least for a 2nd opinion.

    man i hate the psychiatrist who think they are god! we ended up with-county services. overwhelmed system but at least they seem to care.
     
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I would definitely pay out of pocket and get all the files transfered. Sedated and drooling is not an option. That is a philosophy, not a medical scrip.
    I like Coleen's idea, too, to get a 2nd opinion, and to file a formal complaint to the ins. company and state medication board. Keep the complaint to 1 or 2 simple issues instead of writing the note you wrote here. If you think the psychiatrist was bad, the ins company and state medication bd are even worse, sorry to say.
    Expect the dr to become defensive and choose which issues are the most important and easiest to argue.

    by the way, I noticed in your sig. line you said you get migraines. No wonder!!! :eek:
     
  12. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Good news!!!!

    I re-ran the search on the insurance website...I took out the "age of the patient" and it brought up a bunch of new psychiatrists!!!! So, I can only hope it was merely a flaw in their docfind website and that these psychiatrists all take an 8 yr old too.

    Thank Goodness!!!!


    So, I'm going to follow this psychiatrists advice and raise the Seroquel to 400 mg and maybe that will help us get through the PPT meeting tomorrow (crossing everything!!!) and I will see what the new school says (maybe they'll take over managing his medications even?).

    I'll see if I want to keep my appointment with him next week or not.

    Thank you all for your support. I just had to get that off my chest...I felt like my skull was going to explode.
     
  13. wethreepeeps

    wethreepeeps New Member

    Our doctor, who is actually great, kind of went the same route. He said, "we've tried calm, and he's trying to murder you. Let's try sedated just so you can breathe for a couple of days." and upped difficult child's Seroquel from 200 to 400. Well, wonder of wonders, it was a miracle. He wasn't sedated, not at all, but he's been the most stable of his life the past three months, with absolutely no homicidal tendencies or violence towards others. I hope you get the same results.
     
  14. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    What a horrible experience! Just to play devil's advocate - I have gone the sedation route when necessary. Sometimes, you just have to "break" the cycle of meltdowns & manic behaviors.

    In the end, psychiatrist ended up giving a PRN medication for kt. It works if we see the "signs" of high anxiety leading toward a dissociative state or meltdown.

    I hope you find a psychiatrist who will listen.
     
  15. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    COnsidering everything, I really hope this works for you (medication change).

    Very glad you found some more psychiatrists and that you were able to calm down. Best of luck.
     
  16. wldinnh

    wldinnh New Member

    Even if you find another psychiatrist, I would still contact your insurance company and find out the procedure for filing a complaint against a network provider.
     
  17. oceans

    oceans New Member

    I find that they listen better when it is written down, so that they can think about it and not miss anything. I would write down the history and medication trials and results and mail or fax it into the office beforehand! Right now I can email the psychiatrist and I always find things go much smoother if I email my thoughts about my reasoning.

    From what he saw first hand (which seems to be what they go on in a lot of cases), I can see why he is thinking that the strattera is not working. When I read what you wrote, I wonder if the stratterra is doing anything too! I guess the only way you know is if you increase the seroquel and try to come down on the strattera.

    I hope that you find someone who you feel comfortable with and who will listen to you!
     
  18. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    What a total@@@

    One thing that I would suggest is that you start on a Parent Report for your difficult child - information is in the archives.

    Its a bit of a tedious project (was for me anyway because I started one so darn late in my difficult child's life).

    Anytime I came across someone new in difficult child's life that was looking like they were going to have some imput or decision - they were emailed, faxed or handed a copy PRIOR to any meeting. I didn't have to tax my already overloaded brain about when, where, who, when and what happened in the past, it was all in the paper from pre birth to date. Its the one thing that got him initially into Residential Treatment Center (RTC) via the court system.

    If it were me, I would send this fool my Parent Report with a letter nicely stating why he absolutely has no clue.

    Good luck - I know how I felt when the principal told me he only came across one other child like mine in his career, and their parents had to put him into an institution :frown:

    Marcie
     
  19. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry that you had such a rough visit. I have to warn you that you may have a hard time finding a psychiatrist that will take a child.

    My difficult child was 17 and many of the psychiatrists on our insurance still wouldn't see her since they don't take patients under the age of 18.

    I hope that you find someone that you like and trust.

    ~Kathy
     
  20. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Phew/Whew! Thank heavens you appear to have covered options.
    I'm crossing my fingers that there is a qualified good psychiatrist on
    the list. Hugs. DDD

    PS: Do write down notes on that meeting while they are still fresh in your head. Down the line, it may come in handy.
     
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