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What are REAL relationships like?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 566844" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I'm not going to offer any advice except to tell you what my mother in law told me.</p><p></p><p>father in law was in WWII. He saw some nasty action in China, lived through some pretty horrid conditions. He was over there for at least 4-5 yrs. A long time. When he left to go over there they were a young married couple with a baby. Not super young, but late 20's. They'd known each other nearly all their lives. mother in law said she'd only come close to divorce once in 50 plus years of marriage. It was during the months following his return from the war. She said in so many ways he was not the man she married. He was harder, harsher, had little to no patience. At times he could seem cold and unfeeling, he could be unyielding, "my way or the highway". At first mother in law tried to be patient and understanding. He'd been through heck and back. He needed time to adjust to being back. But as time went by it didn't improve. In some ways it got worse. Finally, unable to discuss it with him without it becoming a major blow out, she packed her bags and those of husband's older brothers. (he was now 5 yrs old) father in law was stunned when she headed for the door. mother in law was not one to threaten. In fact, she'd not said a word. He asked her what she was doing. She told him she was leaving until the man she married finally came home to her. Her dad picked them up. </p><p></p><p>mother in law didn't say how long it took for father in law to realize that his actions (even due to good reasons) pushed away the woman he loved so very much. But he showed up one day, humble, near tears asking for her forgiveness and to give him another chance. It wasn't happily ever after. But if she pointed out he was reverting back to previous behavior he would at least listen to her and try to correct it. </p><p></p><p>father in law had men he was responsible for over there. He took that responsibility very seriously, being the man he was. During those years he got used to telling, not asking, ordering....expecting those orders to be carried out without question ect. He'd carried that back with him and didn't realize until she walked out the door. Being stubborn as he was it took him a while longer to admit it. They came extremely close to divorce over it. </p><p></p><p>Guess what I'm saying is that habits of behavior form over time, especially during time of war. Maybe your husband has not realized that he is ordering you around like a soldier, instead of talking to you as his wife?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 566844, member: 84"] I'm not going to offer any advice except to tell you what my mother in law told me. father in law was in WWII. He saw some nasty action in China, lived through some pretty horrid conditions. He was over there for at least 4-5 yrs. A long time. When he left to go over there they were a young married couple with a baby. Not super young, but late 20's. They'd known each other nearly all their lives. mother in law said she'd only come close to divorce once in 50 plus years of marriage. It was during the months following his return from the war. She said in so many ways he was not the man she married. He was harder, harsher, had little to no patience. At times he could seem cold and unfeeling, he could be unyielding, "my way or the highway". At first mother in law tried to be patient and understanding. He'd been through heck and back. He needed time to adjust to being back. But as time went by it didn't improve. In some ways it got worse. Finally, unable to discuss it with him without it becoming a major blow out, she packed her bags and those of husband's older brothers. (he was now 5 yrs old) father in law was stunned when she headed for the door. mother in law was not one to threaten. In fact, she'd not said a word. He asked her what she was doing. She told him she was leaving until the man she married finally came home to her. Her dad picked them up. mother in law didn't say how long it took for father in law to realize that his actions (even due to good reasons) pushed away the woman he loved so very much. But he showed up one day, humble, near tears asking for her forgiveness and to give him another chance. It wasn't happily ever after. But if she pointed out he was reverting back to previous behavior he would at least listen to her and try to correct it. father in law had men he was responsible for over there. He took that responsibility very seriously, being the man he was. During those years he got used to telling, not asking, ordering....expecting those orders to be carried out without question ect. He'd carried that back with him and didn't realize until she walked out the door. Being stubborn as he was it took him a while longer to admit it. They came extremely close to divorce over it. Guess what I'm saying is that habits of behavior form over time, especially during time of war. Maybe your husband has not realized that he is ordering you around like a soldier, instead of talking to you as his wife? [/QUOTE]
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