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What are your triggers?
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 454837" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>I know exactly what you mean! My kids are now 30 and 35. I wanted kids for so long before I actually had them, and they're five years apart so I was in that "mommy mode" for a very long time. And then they start growing up on you and you are less and less responsible for every aspect of their lives, but it's a hard habit to shake. And while I adore the adults they've grown up to be, it's hard to connect them to my two little guys that I fed and burped and changed! Sometimes I feel like that old hyper-vigilent mommy from years ago, like they slipped away from me somehow, like those two little blond curly haired toddlers are still out there somewhere and I've lost them! And then I see my beautiful little blond two year old grandson with his huge blue eyes and the mischevious grin on his face and I realize that we've kind of come full circle.</p><p></p><p>I don't really talk about my kids on here much. My oldest, my daughter, was the one that put me through the wringer when she was younger. She was the one I worried about, the one who hit bottom over and over again. Very complicated situation. How I wish this board had been around when she was younger. It would have been an absolute Godsend to me then. It wasn't from anything I did but somehow she matured and pulled her life together all by herself. It wasn't easy but she did it. She graduated from nursing school, she's very happily married to a wonderful man (a police officer), she's a great mom to their two year old son, has a very responsible job and they own a lovely home.</p><p></p><p>My son was always the one who seemed to be on a more even keel, the less volatile one, the one I didn't worry about as much. Some of you who have been around a while will remember this ... six years ago he married a girl he was absolutely crazy about (I was a little less thrilled about her than he was!) Three weeks after they married she took off with another man. He made a very serious suicide attempt and spent six days in the hospital on life support. He recovered but his self esteem took a big hit and I think now he feels that he has nothing to offer. He's dated occasionally but has never had another serious relationship since his marriage ended - "Once bitten, twice shy". He spends most of his time at work or working on cars with his friends. He would make such a wonderful husband and father and I know that's what he really wants. He's a "daddy figure" to all his friends' kids and he loves it. He's thirty now, thirty-one in October. He may find a great girl someday and have a family of his own but I just don't know. <u>My</u> triggers now, the things that make me feel bad for him ... this is such a small town, and every week in the paper I see where another one of his school friends has gotten married or had another baby. Almost all of them have their own families now and it makes me so sad that he doesn't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 454837, member: 1883"] I know exactly what you mean! My kids are now 30 and 35. I wanted kids for so long before I actually had them, and they're five years apart so I was in that "mommy mode" for a very long time. And then they start growing up on you and you are less and less responsible for every aspect of their lives, but it's a hard habit to shake. And while I adore the adults they've grown up to be, it's hard to connect them to my two little guys that I fed and burped and changed! Sometimes I feel like that old hyper-vigilent mommy from years ago, like they slipped away from me somehow, like those two little blond curly haired toddlers are still out there somewhere and I've lost them! And then I see my beautiful little blond two year old grandson with his huge blue eyes and the mischevious grin on his face and I realize that we've kind of come full circle. I don't really talk about my kids on here much. My oldest, my daughter, was the one that put me through the wringer when she was younger. She was the one I worried about, the one who hit bottom over and over again. Very complicated situation. How I wish this board had been around when she was younger. It would have been an absolute Godsend to me then. It wasn't from anything I did but somehow she matured and pulled her life together all by herself. It wasn't easy but she did it. She graduated from nursing school, she's very happily married to a wonderful man (a police officer), she's a great mom to their two year old son, has a very responsible job and they own a lovely home. My son was always the one who seemed to be on a more even keel, the less volatile one, the one I didn't worry about as much. Some of you who have been around a while will remember this ... six years ago he married a girl he was absolutely crazy about (I was a little less thrilled about her than he was!) Three weeks after they married she took off with another man. He made a very serious suicide attempt and spent six days in the hospital on life support. He recovered but his self esteem took a big hit and I think now he feels that he has nothing to offer. He's dated occasionally but has never had another serious relationship since his marriage ended - "Once bitten, twice shy". He spends most of his time at work or working on cars with his friends. He would make such a wonderful husband and father and I know that's what he really wants. He's a "daddy figure" to all his friends' kids and he loves it. He's thirty now, thirty-one in October. He may find a great girl someday and have a family of his own but I just don't know. [U]My[/U] triggers now, the things that make me feel bad for him ... this is such a small town, and every week in the paper I see where another one of his school friends has gotten married or had another baby. Almost all of them have their own families now and it makes me so sad that he doesn't. [/QUOTE]
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