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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 495418" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>this may totally not work...so am just going to throw it out there as a partial thing to do... (the obvious answer is to evaluate difficult child, work on things etc... so you will hear lots of that too)</p><p></p><p>How about focusing on easy child? easy child has an appropriate response...gets rewarded. DO NOT rub it in difficult child's face...just casual comments, etc. Especially if easy child is being tormented and has to run away.... ok easy child... lets go to DQ and get an icecream because you did a great job not yelling and it will give difficult child a chance to relax. (after all he is showing you he really does need a break)</p><p></p><p>You can play cards or a game with easy child, you can go for a walk with easy child, etc.... again... I do not mean to torture difficult child... just to reinforce good behaviors. If difficult child is not the kid to fuss about compliments or rewards then you can do the same for difficult child the second you see a positive there. but with true difficult child's that often does not work. They may hate compliments, and because of whatever else is really going on... rewards and consequences do not always work. If you have not tried it though... it could be really worth a try. Most of us try more traditional routes first, but then learn if it will work or not. I always say I would LOVE it if more traditional methods would work. Even at school, but it just doesn't with mine so we always have to work on prevention and controlling the environment. easy child is part of the environment. Help easy child get out of there and help to avoid easy child developing behaviors in response to treatment from difficult child...(all sounds good in theory...believe me I know it may be way harder in practice if possible at all)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 495418, member: 12886"] this may totally not work...so am just going to throw it out there as a partial thing to do... (the obvious answer is to evaluate difficult child, work on things etc... so you will hear lots of that too) How about focusing on easy child? easy child has an appropriate response...gets rewarded. DO NOT rub it in difficult child's face...just casual comments, etc. Especially if easy child is being tormented and has to run away.... ok easy child... lets go to DQ and get an icecream because you did a great job not yelling and it will give difficult child a chance to relax. (after all he is showing you he really does need a break) You can play cards or a game with easy child, you can go for a walk with easy child, etc.... again... I do not mean to torture difficult child... just to reinforce good behaviors. If difficult child is not the kid to fuss about compliments or rewards then you can do the same for difficult child the second you see a positive there. but with true difficult child's that often does not work. They may hate compliments, and because of whatever else is really going on... rewards and consequences do not always work. If you have not tried it though... it could be really worth a try. Most of us try more traditional routes first, but then learn if it will work or not. I always say I would LOVE it if more traditional methods would work. Even at school, but it just doesn't with mine so we always have to work on prevention and controlling the environment. easy child is part of the environment. Help easy child get out of there and help to avoid easy child developing behaviors in response to treatment from difficult child...(all sounds good in theory...believe me I know it may be way harder in practice if possible at all) [/QUOTE]
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