What did y'all tell people after...

[Andy]

For school kids - When my difficult child was hospitalized last fall, the school kids wanted to know why he wasn't in school. They had known that difficult child was sick since school started - could not always stay all day, lacked energy, ect. We told them that he was at a place to find the medicine to make him better. That this would help him quicker than if he stayed in school. One day I stopped at school to pick something up and a pre-school kid came running out. She saw me drive up and was very concerned, "We don't know where your boy is!" I replied, "I know where he is and he is o.k." That was a sweet moment in a very difficult time - to know that other kids did really care.

I know this situation is a little different but maybe you can come up with something similar to help easy child answer the pesky questions from kids at school. It is hard for us as adults to ward off these inquiries, I imagine it is near impossible for easy child to know what to say. When kids don't get answers to their original inquiries, they can start being meaner about it and it does turn into sarcastic relentless teasing.

 

[susiestar]

I am so sorry this is so hard for you. The people who worked with us before my son went to live with-my parents got the truth. Some of the people I have told that he lives with my parents because he is happier there. I have also used the line" I'm sorry, that is private to our family." Or just apruptly changed the subject and refused to answer. One or two people ahve even been walked away from, very very abruptly - simply because they were SO RUDE about it.

My daughter told her 6 closest friends. The girls have been extremely close since first grade and one other has a similar situation with her bro. They are very supportive. I was open with one family about why their daughter couldn't spend the night, and then why she could suddenly. BUT I have known the family forever and the girls are "twins" in their minds and hearts - they even look alike and have the same birthday.

I would figure out what you can be comfortable with and then PRACTICE saying it to yourself, even into a mirror, until you are comfortable and it comes out the way you want it to. I use this technique with adults AND with my kids when I need to bbe insistent and break a habit.

Hugs,

Susie

 

[TerryJ2]

One day I stopped at school to pick something up and a pre-school kid came running out. She saw me drive up and was very concerned, "We don't know where your boy is!" I replied, "I know where he is and he is o.k."

Ooohhh, that's so sweet Adrianne. And you said just the right thing.

 

[change]

Susiestar,

Very good advice. I DO need to practice what I'm going to say and then STICK with it. That's my problem...I decide in my head one thing, but emotions get the best of me and I end up saying something different and it comes out funny and then people can tell I'm lying. I need to stick to my original plan (usually to say he's in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)) and then say it with a straight face and move on quickly. I've been able to "blow off" a few people successfully and totally ignore their question about him or redirect because they are people that are easily
redirected. I'm hoping to do that a bunch more...as much as possible.

I also like your CUTE response ADRIANNE. That works PERFECTLY for kids. I'll have to tell my daughter about that one.