As a little background, my difficult child signed himself out of inpatient rehab after 4 months and disappeared. No one knew where he was for over a month. Then he signed into a detox unit, completed that and got a bed at a halfway house. A few weeks ago he asked us to bring his bike, which husband took to him and stayed for a short visit. While he was there, difficult child asked for his work boots. Saturday we finally found his boots and took them, again staying only for a few minutes. difficult child looked SO GOOD! He had gained weight, his eyes were clear...A few times he started to make some "poor me" overtures, then backed off when we didn't respond. He was smiling and laughing and more hopeful that I have seen him in years. He has a job working outdoors and looks tan and healthy and has even developed some muscles. He asked us if we would like to go for a hike Sunday, if he didn't have to work. We told him to call us Sunday and we would see. We were surprised when he DID call. husband and I "strategized" a little bit beforehand and agreed that we would just listen, not try to advise or fix anything, no matter what. And we did what we said. (Thanks, ladies!!!) It turned out to be a really nice day with him. difficult child said that he was thinking of enlisting because he realizes he does better with some authority (structure of the halfway house) and would like to go back to school (he has lost 3 scholarships because of not attending classes). He asked us our opinion, and we told him our thoughts without any "shoulds." We told him whatever he decides to do, we hope it works out great and that it was wonderful to see him doing so well. Monday difficult child called me from recruiter's office and said he needed some documents so he could take his entrance exams Tuesday. I took those to him, again not staying long, with just a hug and a "good luck" before I left. We were looking forward to hearing how his tests went last night. Instead, what I got this morning was 2 texts. (1) They (military) won't take him unless he lies and he can't do that because he already took the test (?not sure what he means here?). (2) He lost his job and is quitting the halfway house. WHAT?!? It has been FOUR DAYS of MINIMAL contact and he has somehow managed to trash all the progress he has made and he has disappeared again? This is like the opposite of thinking I can control his actions, I'm starting to think maybe I am the black curse of death! What happened?!?