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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 254082" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>While military schools and the military in general may dole out that type of punishment, and it may work well for people in that environment, they're not dealing with mentally ill children and adults (in general). Becuase it works for them, doesn't mean it's necessarily appropriate for your difficult child. in my opinion, the disorders listed on your profile would make it very difficult for him to comply with a physical type of punishment, it's more likely to just set him off and make things worse (as seems to have happened). This isn't feeling sorry for him, it's a matter of having to tailor the punishment to fit the individual child, especially when that child has some pretty severe psychological disturbances going on. I can't begin to tell you what might work, but if this isn't working, maybe it's time to re-think things. </p><p></p><p>It's so hard when one person's (or child's) behavior turns the entire family upside down, I know. It's even harder when it affects your own personal life and career. I lost one job ebcause of my difficult children, and many relationships. We have to re-shape our own thinking about what works and what doesn't... and it's very easy to fall into the "well, my parents did that and it worked for me" or, "my other children had the same punishment and it worked for them." We have to take a step back and realize this isn't about us, it's about the child.. the individual child's needs.</p><p></p><p>As the others, I'm hoping this doesn't come across as unsupportive.. because beleive me, I feel your frustration, been there. Just trying to offer another perspective. </p><p></p><p>I hope he comes home soon!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 254082, member: 1157"] While military schools and the military in general may dole out that type of punishment, and it may work well for people in that environment, they're not dealing with mentally ill children and adults (in general). Becuase it works for them, doesn't mean it's necessarily appropriate for your difficult child. in my opinion, the disorders listed on your profile would make it very difficult for him to comply with a physical type of punishment, it's more likely to just set him off and make things worse (as seems to have happened). This isn't feeling sorry for him, it's a matter of having to tailor the punishment to fit the individual child, especially when that child has some pretty severe psychological disturbances going on. I can't begin to tell you what might work, but if this isn't working, maybe it's time to re-think things. It's so hard when one person's (or child's) behavior turns the entire family upside down, I know. It's even harder when it affects your own personal life and career. I lost one job ebcause of my difficult children, and many relationships. We have to re-shape our own thinking about what works and what doesn't... and it's very easy to fall into the "well, my parents did that and it worked for me" or, "my other children had the same punishment and it worked for them." We have to take a step back and realize this isn't about us, it's about the child.. the individual child's needs. As the others, I'm hoping this doesn't come across as unsupportive.. because beleive me, I feel your frustration, been there. Just trying to offer another perspective. I hope he comes home soon! [/QUOTE]
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