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What do you do when other parent is not on the same page?
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 372343" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>Hello,</p><p>I am posting here instead of PE because I think this is a problem many can relate to, regardless of the age of your difficult child.</p><p> </p><p>Backstory: difficult child is 19. I have posted about her latest antics in PE. The short story is she left on Monday (she was living with me) to live with a guy she'd met on the internet less than a week before. They had met in person - once - and are now in love and planning a life together. There's way more to the story than this, but I'm shooting for the short version.</p><p> </p><p>I assured her that I loved her and supported her, but would not lend any kind of support to this situation. She managed to get a friend to pick her up, pick up the guy (P) and then got her dad to pick them both up to "talk".</p><p> </p><p>Now, would most dad's not be going ballistic at this point? </p><p> </p><p>To his credit, he did not allow them to stay at his home, but he did drive them to a motel. (I would have told them to walk)</p><p> </p><p>Last night, he picks them up fromt he motel and takes him back to his house for dinner. P's mom has thoughtfully sent a doggie bag with- her son and X justifies picking them up to eat "their" dinner. He goes to a meeting and allows them to hang at his house - with his home theater and internet access. He then returns them to the motel.</p><p> </p><p>They want to use his car today to look for apartments. Does he say "no"? He thinks he does. He says "I need my car today". difficult child makes $7.30 an hour and P does not work. Neither has car. The motel is six miles from town. </p><p> </p><p>She is off today and works 2-10 tomorrow. They will spend today in their love nest and perhaps X will pick them up again tonight for din-din. They ahve to be out by 11:00 tomorrow. </p><p> </p><p>I am livid that he's enabling them. He sits down with this dude and talks to them as if this were perfectly normal, then makes excuses about driving them insted of just laying down the law.</p><p> </p><p>His passive/agressive personality is one of the main reasons we are divorced. He sets some limits, but will not take a stand.</p><p> </p><p>How do you handle a spouse/parent/so/X who enables or refuses to set limits?</p><p> </p><p>I a ALWAYS the bad guy. Always. I would take a bullet for my daughter but I also love her enough to REFUSE to allow this behavior in my home.</p><p> </p><p>well, I guess this isn't short after all.</p><p> </p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 372343, member: 9175"] Hello, I am posting here instead of PE because I think this is a problem many can relate to, regardless of the age of your difficult child. Backstory: difficult child is 19. I have posted about her latest antics in PE. The short story is she left on Monday (she was living with me) to live with a guy she'd met on the internet less than a week before. They had met in person - once - and are now in love and planning a life together. There's way more to the story than this, but I'm shooting for the short version. I assured her that I loved her and supported her, but would not lend any kind of support to this situation. She managed to get a friend to pick her up, pick up the guy (P) and then got her dad to pick them both up to "talk". Now, would most dad's not be going ballistic at this point? To his credit, he did not allow them to stay at his home, but he did drive them to a motel. (I would have told them to walk) Last night, he picks them up fromt he motel and takes him back to his house for dinner. P's mom has thoughtfully sent a doggie bag with- her son and X justifies picking them up to eat "their" dinner. He goes to a meeting and allows them to hang at his house - with his home theater and internet access. He then returns them to the motel. They want to use his car today to look for apartments. Does he say "no"? He thinks he does. He says "I need my car today". difficult child makes $7.30 an hour and P does not work. Neither has car. The motel is six miles from town. She is off today and works 2-10 tomorrow. They will spend today in their love nest and perhaps X will pick them up again tonight for din-din. They ahve to be out by 11:00 tomorrow. I am livid that he's enabling them. He sits down with this dude and talks to them as if this were perfectly normal, then makes excuses about driving them insted of just laying down the law. His passive/agressive personality is one of the main reasons we are divorced. He sets some limits, but will not take a stand. How do you handle a spouse/parent/so/X who enables or refuses to set limits? I a ALWAYS the bad guy. Always. I would take a bullet for my daughter but I also love her enough to REFUSE to allow this behavior in my home. well, I guess this isn't short after all. Dash [/QUOTE]
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