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What do you do when other parent is not on the same page?
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 372347" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Based on what you said, it sounds like exh is taking a stand. He has set up the boundary of not allowing them to stay with him personally. He is not allowing them to use his car. </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">From where I sit, it sounds like he feels that it's okay to offer them a ride & dinner because then he at least can see his daughter and how she looks can be an indicator for him whether or not she is in immediate danger. Talking with this internet guy also gives him an opportunity to get a 'feel' for him, get to know him while also still keeping an eye on his daughter. I think by taking a hard line, you are letting her know that neither you nor exh accept this relationship, but the truth is you're not ready to let difficult child just disappear into the sunset with this guy. It's a very precarious situation. </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">I think it is important to realize that the relationship you had with exh is not going to be exactly the same or have the same circumstances and results as with your children. I would continue to maintain contact with exh just so you know what's going on. Be sure to reiterate to exh how important it is for him NOT to provide anything more than a meal and/or a ride. It sounds like exh just wants to maintain contact with your daughter, which in my humble opinion is a good thing at this point. </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Based on your description of her past relationships, really, this internet relationship could go completely bust in a matter of days or weeks and difficult child will be more apt to get out of it if she knows she can fall back on dad or mom. As long as he remains resistant to her manipulation, I think he is taking the only stand he can right now. I would have a hard time not doing the same. I'd want to have <span style="color: darkslateblue">contact with her also without enabling her by providing lodgings and money and a car. You can be the bad guy this time around and try to trust that he won't enable her further. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Personally, I would want to continue to keep the lines of communication open with difficult child without enabling her by providing a place to stay or have access to my personal vehicle, making sure she gets at least one decent meal a day while getting to know this new guy in her life. </span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 372347, member: 2211"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Based on what you said, it sounds like exh is taking a stand. He has set up the boundary of not allowing them to stay with him personally. He is not allowing them to use his car. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]From where I sit, it sounds like he feels that it's okay to offer them a ride & dinner because then he at least can see his daughter and how she looks can be an indicator for him whether or not she is in immediate danger. Talking with this internet guy also gives him an opportunity to get a 'feel' for him, get to know him while also still keeping an eye on his daughter. I think by taking a hard line, you are letting her know that neither you nor exh accept this relationship, but the truth is you're not ready to let difficult child just disappear into the sunset with this guy. It's a very precarious situation. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]I think it is important to realize that the relationship you had with exh is not going to be exactly the same or have the same circumstances and results as with your children. I would continue to maintain contact with exh just so you know what's going on. Be sure to reiterate to exh how important it is for him NOT to provide anything more than a meal and/or a ride. It sounds like exh just wants to maintain contact with your daughter, which in my humble opinion is a good thing at this point. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Based on your description of her past relationships, really, this internet relationship could go completely bust in a matter of days or weeks and difficult child will be more apt to get out of it if she knows she can fall back on dad or mom. As long as he remains resistant to her manipulation, I think he is taking the only stand he can right now. I would have a hard time not doing the same. I'd want to have [COLOR=darkslateblue]contact with her also without enabling her by providing lodgings and money and a car. You can be the bad guy this time around and try to trust that he won't enable her further. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Personally, I would want to continue to keep the lines of communication open with difficult child without enabling her by providing a place to stay or have access to my personal vehicle, making sure she gets at least one decent meal a day while getting to know this new guy in her life. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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