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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 498152" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>thank you DDD. I do stress over these things- like how my actions and words are being interprettted by difficult child and trying to make sure he understands my objectives and why I'm doing things. However, just like when I was fighting half-bro re custody and difficult child ultimately saw that as a means to run all over me, which was not my objective, I still had to fight it because I knew there was great risk to his well being if my half-bro got custody. Given all considerations from hx with difficult child and from hx with that probations officer, etc, I feel strongly that I need to make sure this PO/super understand that I expect my and difficult child's rights to be maintained- they have boundaries, too, but he can't come home right away with a PO who is more interested in making parental decisions than doing their job of putting defined requirements in writing. </p><p></p><p>I think they tipped me over the edge the day they told me they'd let difficult child out of group home whenever they felt like iot yet had nothing in writing stating requirements then turned aorund and told me they'd give me permission to go to his IEP mtgs- which I don;t need their permission to do. And the same day, telling me difficult child remained in Department of Juvenile Justice custody so they had full control over him then telliong me I had to pay and accommodate him going to any medication/MH appts. I think not- I'll continue paying CS but as long as they are overseeing and making the decision re his medication tx (completely disregarding my input or difficult child's hx) and making those choices and have custody of him, it's their responsibility to see to it those needs are met, not mine. They honestly don't think they have any boundaries at all or that I have any rights at all.</p><p></p><p>Simply put, as 1 example only- it's their job to write his parole parole requirements, which are to be measurable goals or a time limit of good behavior or both and give difficult child and me written copies 30 days prior to release: NOT DONE</p><p>It's not their job to write his IEP: They plan on going to IEP mtgs and telling sd what they want that will 'fit' with their plan- whatever that plan is; never mind that difficult child's IEP works as can be seen by lack of criminal activity (except truancy) at school and having decent grades and educational goals; reentry program requires the kid goes straight to work whether kid CHOOSES to stay in school or not</p><p></p><p>That is less parental rights than I have when difficult child is incarcerated.</p><p></p><p>If they want to push me out of the picture and disregard my parental rights, they are going to have to go before a judge and justify it, just like dss has to. And you bet ya- I will push it that far.</p><p></p><p>difficult child wants to come straight home with no services or parole requirements ordered and no family therapy, which was actuall PO's first plan. HA HA The PO just went from one extreme to the other. difficult child knows that's not my position and I certainly didn't say "OK, Honey, I'll try to over-ride them and get that for you because we don't have to do what they say".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 498152, member: 3699"] thank you DDD. I do stress over these things- like how my actions and words are being interprettted by difficult child and trying to make sure he understands my objectives and why I'm doing things. However, just like when I was fighting half-bro re custody and difficult child ultimately saw that as a means to run all over me, which was not my objective, I still had to fight it because I knew there was great risk to his well being if my half-bro got custody. Given all considerations from hx with difficult child and from hx with that probations officer, etc, I feel strongly that I need to make sure this PO/super understand that I expect my and difficult child's rights to be maintained- they have boundaries, too, but he can't come home right away with a PO who is more interested in making parental decisions than doing their job of putting defined requirements in writing. I think they tipped me over the edge the day they told me they'd let difficult child out of group home whenever they felt like iot yet had nothing in writing stating requirements then turned aorund and told me they'd give me permission to go to his IEP mtgs- which I don;t need their permission to do. And the same day, telling me difficult child remained in Department of Juvenile Justice custody so they had full control over him then telliong me I had to pay and accommodate him going to any medication/MH appts. I think not- I'll continue paying CS but as long as they are overseeing and making the decision re his medication tx (completely disregarding my input or difficult child's hx) and making those choices and have custody of him, it's their responsibility to see to it those needs are met, not mine. They honestly don't think they have any boundaries at all or that I have any rights at all. Simply put, as 1 example only- it's their job to write his parole parole requirements, which are to be measurable goals or a time limit of good behavior or both and give difficult child and me written copies 30 days prior to release: NOT DONE It's not their job to write his IEP: They plan on going to IEP mtgs and telling sd what they want that will 'fit' with their plan- whatever that plan is; never mind that difficult child's IEP works as can be seen by lack of criminal activity (except truancy) at school and having decent grades and educational goals; reentry program requires the kid goes straight to work whether kid CHOOSES to stay in school or not That is less parental rights than I have when difficult child is incarcerated. If they want to push me out of the picture and disregard my parental rights, they are going to have to go before a judge and justify it, just like dss has to. And you bet ya- I will push it that far. difficult child wants to come straight home with no services or parole requirements ordered and no family therapy, which was actuall PO's first plan. HA HA The PO just went from one extreme to the other. difficult child knows that's not my position and I certainly didn't say "OK, Honey, I'll try to over-ride them and get that for you because we don't have to do what they say". [/QUOTE]
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