What do you Most Love about your difficult child/G'sFG?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by totoro, Jan 3, 2008.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I was thinking about this as A LOT of us are having such a hard time, some of you out there have children in Placement... some of us have children who are Very unstable... some of us have yet to fine the "perfect" medication mix!!! Ha Ha
    Some of our G'sFG have been horribly abused and do not realise what we as parents are trying to do to help them...
    Some of us are alone...
    Some of us are Broke... in so many way, broken...

    So I wanted to take a moment and think about the good in our children... whether they were adopted or landed on our laps mysteriously, I am still trying to figure it out!

    K walked up to me this morning... another bad one. And handed me a big picture that had a drawing of ME and it said Mommy I love you!!!


    So what do I love about my girls:
    They still love to cuddle
    They love to hold hands
    They tell us they love us
    They give hugs
    They are polite
    They are kind still
    giggles


    Come on think of something... or you wouldn't be here!!!
     
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I love the fact that difficult child loves life, and can be very empathetic. He one time dug thru the entire cupboard to find the only can of chicken noodle soup for his sick sister. He then fixed it for her. One time I was taking a nap in his room and husband came in and tried to wake me and difficult child told him to get out and leave me alone. Not the most polite response, but I got my nap.
     
  3. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    Hi,
    my difficult child 1 isn't so much a difficult child anymore and difficult child 2 probably doesn't really qualify for gfgdom but still I think this is a good idea to think about the qualities I love about them!

    difficult child 1: She has so much enthusiasm and makes any holiday more fun just with her presence. She is also very open with her affection--I am more reserved.

    difficult child 2: She feels things very deeply, has much integrity and very good common sense. She is a great listener.

    Thanks!

    Jane
     
  4. Ours are all creative and artistic.

    Oldest sings in choir and draws very beautiful, detailed fantasy art. Did also at one time play an instrument in school.

    Middle has a great imagination and comes up with all sorts of sculptures with assorted Bionicle parts, and has been in band for years. He also plays in an extracurricular jazz band club.

    Youngest sings in extracurricular choir and is also creative and a bit "artsy" and likes knitting too.


    Being a graphic artist myself, and having been through all years of arts and choir available in high school, I love to see it!!
     
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    difficult child can be very empathetic and will be a warrior for someone who is being mistreated or is the underdog.

    She is clever and loves animals.

    Sorry, not feelin' much love right now for difficult child.
     
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    AWWWW!!!
    I loved both of those responses!!!!


    That made me think of a time last year when K was in school and a little girl was hanging onto her Mommies leg, too scared to go to the pre-recess.

    Of course no-one was noticing this, I was watching, because I always watched from a distance what K was doing as I walked back to the car.
    So this Mom was trying to get the girl to go play... K walked over, and wrapped her arms around the girl and told her it was OK... she held her hand and walked her over to the playset and the Mom was able to leave... I started to cry.
    K had no friends, yet she would still do this for a little girl...
    Empathy
     
  7. mom23gsfg

    mom23gsfg New Member

    any time i need anything fixed or put together..my dear son will come running to fix it for me....
    he hung up my new window blinds for me ...funny thing was after weeks of pleading with my hubby to hang them he only had hung 2 of them up crooked ..and kenny ...perfect without a tape measure or anything
    christmas time...he is ready and willing to put all his lil sisters toys together ....he needs no instructions
    :hammer:
    he and his sisters fight daily...but last month his lil sisters favorite toy got broken...he snuck and spent all day fixing it for her
    last year a much older boy grabbed his step sis on the breast he stood up ready to defend her honor !and had to be pulled away by 2 other teens.
    :sword:
    and when im not feeling well he will check in on me and bring me drink and ect.
    and funny thing his lil 8 yr old cousin that used to be afraid of him (for no reason other than what shed heard from other kids)he is now her hero...and lavishes him with hugs and kisses evey time she sees him...because he hugged her and held her while she cried because she had her feelings hurt during a game of telephone (and thought someone had said something they hadnt)he also "saved her from the aka "mean big doggy" (that was only a pup lol)
    and he just eats up his heroism
    also when my "norm"children see a handicapped person they tend to ask questions really loudly...he doesnt ...he will walk right up to that person and treat them like he would anyone else...last year there was a lil boy in a wheelchair and some other kind of hand problems at the school...alll the other kids just looked or turned their heads ..kenny walked right up and shook the lil boys hand and introduced himself...(he doesnt do that to "other kids")
    also if we are in a store he will hold the door for elderly people and offer them help if he thinks they need it....a few weeks ago while i was shopping a lil old lady using a walker asked me if i knew where the peanut butter was at ..i didnt...he takes off and comes back carring one of every kind they carried (not knowing which she wanted)
    it warmed my heart to hear her tell me that she had never seen anyone his age so ready to help anyone her age before
     
  8. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    So much in common. I love the wittiness, the charming smile, his kind, loving, giving heart. And he just cracks me up.

    What a nice post.
     
  9. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I love that she is kind and giving to others. She has a generosity of spirit. When she smiles, the whole world glows. She is extremely kind to the young, the elderly and animals -- all will get her undying attention. She's a hard worker at work (wish some of that would drift into the home) and I always hear good things about her from her supervisors.

    Basically, I love my kid. I may not always like her, but she's impossible to not love.
     
  10. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I love the way mine will ultimately come back together in love and solidarity after being ready to throttle eachother earlier in the day :wink:

    I love that they truly are attached to me, and selfishly, that it's a stronger bond than they have with their dad.

    I love that they are both creative in their own different ways.

    And that they both can have tremendous empathy for the "underdog", and they're not afraid to show it.

    I think that's a quality that many, many difficult child's have -- whether it's innate or they've learned it just out of being a difficult child, but it's a wonderful way to be able to look at the world. In that regard, we need more difficult child's in our lives!
     
  11. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    My Duckie is... beautiful. She's the child you notice in the class picture. Strangers still stop to tell me she's a beauty. And she can be so graceful when she dances. Plus she's very smart, husband is already teaching her simple algebra and equations. She's helpful too: she was so proud to make breakfast for her sleepover friend a few days ago. Plus, her giggles are irrepressible!
    :its_all_good:
     
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Toto - great post!

    I love that my son looks like me (gosh what a good looking kid)
    I love that he's got an overt sense of humor
    I love that he's clever and smart
    I love that despite his disabilities he recognizes finally that he has abilities
    I love the fact that he can cut the "herd" for me so to speak on fair-weather friends. Saves me a lot of aggravation.
    I love that he can make me laugh when no one else can
    I love that he can help others

    I'm amazed some days that he seems to have come so far and other days I'm just mortified at his sense of being.
     
  13. Yes, the empathy and the support of the "underdog" are familiar characteristics too. I often wish they would show more empathy for their family members ... total strangers seem to receive more compassion at times! LOL
     
  14. looking4hope

    looking4hope New Member

    My difficult child is extremely smart, comes up with the most amazing insights for a 9 year old! I think he'll be a scientist or an engineer...

    He is very moral. When he's in control, he does a good job of treating people with respect and telling others when they are being mean or unfair. However, when he's not in control, this trait becomes a problem.

    He is very truthful. Lying isn't something that he does well, anyway, so the few times he does lie, I can tell right away.

    He is curious, and loves to learn.

    Mostly, I love my difficult child because he is just that -- a gift from God. I had several miscarriages before having him, and I treasure the fact that I am able to experience motherhood, even with the trials our difficult children present us with.
     
  15. Martie

    Martie Moderator

    I love that my ex-difficult child has overcome most of the problems of his childhood---mainly for his sake, but for mine, too. It is a HUGE relief to worry less and enjoy life more.

    I love his wit and even his sarcasm because it is balanced by the kindness shown to the underdog that is sometimes a strong characteristic of those who were bullied as children. (It is interesting that many posters mentioned some variation on this theme.)

    I love to listen to him play and lose himself in music...

    I just love him...what more can I say?

    Martie
     
  16. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    I love the fact that he thinks outside of the box always, it allows me to live life fully constantly. I also love how he is always "stopping to smell the roses". He sees all of the little things that we seem to pass by.

    He truly is a gift :smile:

    Edited to add - we are having a fairly good streak right now so I am appreciating it for now... :wink:
     
  17. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Probably I love most mine's sense of humor - some days its like living with Lenny Bruce LOL

    He, despite his rough exterior at times, has a very tender heart - He can be very giving - I remember when eldest was having a baby shower - he had gotten money for his birthday and spent every last dime of it on baby gifts for her.

    And he rarely leaves the house without saying I am off momma - love you...

    Marcie
     
  18. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    What a great question!! Before I answer for myself, I have to say I loved "mums" response that she loves how her difficult child thinks outside the box- you know we spend so much time fighting for our kids because others are trying to force them into a mold that they don't fit in so I think it's great to remember that we love some things about their "uniqueness" as well. It reminds me of when a therapist asked for my list of difficult child's qualities (in my opinion) and then a list of what I thought were his faults. I told him that was easy- it was pretty close to being the same list.

    Joking aside-
    I love certain expressions he gets on his face that bring back the memories of him as a baby, when I was sure I'd given birth to an innocent angel!
    I love that he's compassionate, smart, caring (this could be decreasing!) , loves animals, funny, has started to stand up FOR me on occassion (OMG!), but most noticable to me lately, is that he has started to just do things that I never even mention but that he knows I'll like or it will benefit things somehow. Now, he's not doing this real often so I'm not holding my breath, but after everything that's transpired over the last year, I can't help but be proud to know he thought of something that would make me or someone else happy and took the initiative to just do it, without issue. I hate seeing my "little boy" grow up, but it really helps to see parts of his personality developing that are good.

    I can't give up on this kid for a long time- know what I mean?
     
  19. I love our difficult child's musicality... he is the most musical person I know - all of his music teachers through the years have been amazed by his musical ability. He began Suzuki training on the cello when he was 3 and moved on to the piano and bass clarinet.

    I also love his unique take on the world and his almost instantaneous and intuitive understanding of how mechanical things work. And, if anyone in the family has computer problems (and husband and easy child work in this area) we all gravitate to him. He has a magical ability to "heal" electronic problems.

    And ,you can't deny that he's cute (this is not just a Mom talking here, not really). When he was in elementary school the girls would all say "AWWWW, he's soooooo cute" when he walked up the sidewalk. In fact it happened so often, easy child used to say, "If I hear he's so cute one more time I'm going to throw up". :smile: I guess you call it charisma. The ironic thing though is, he really has no clue what to do with it!
     
  20. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    My girls are both beauties.

    Copper is a very compassionate, warm, caring person. She is great with kids and animals. She connects with seniors very well too. Her relationship with God is beyond even my comprehension. She is a trendsetter and never follows the crowd.

    Tink is a dynamo. At this age I love that she still loves to snuggle and tickle and tell me I love you 100X a day. She is artistic and clever. She has a thirst for knowledge and wants to know how every little thing works. Watching her in wonder is something I wish I could stop time for.
     
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