Shari
IsItFridayYet?
I've posted a couple of times about easy child 2. I'm questioning her easy child status, frankly, and sadly, I think its parentally induced.
Short background, she's diagnosed ADHD after almost failing 3rd grade. Her mom won't do anything, and finally the teacher and I got the school to test her. They recommended further testing, mom finally was pressured enuf to do it, did it, and was diagnosed ADHD. Recommended counseling, tutoring, and getting her involved in a social activity because she's lacking social skills (she didn't have a friend til she was in Kindergarten - grandma kept her and there was NO socializing). So here she is in 5th grade now, struggling again, reading at a 3rd grade level, and mom won't allow the school to tutor her, tho the school has offered because she qualifies with the diagnosis. She can't read, and no one will help her. .
Anyway, she was here last week doing social studies homework. She had to find 4 reasons that helped an ancient Chinese dynasty last so long. These were 1 statement answers x 4. It took her well over an hour to read 3 pages of text and pull out 4 main ideas. They weren't the answers I would have picked, but we're dealing with a kid who is reading at least a full grade level below the grade she's in, and I thought it was more important she pull out some main ideas as opposed to me handing her answers. I don't know any other way for her to have gotten them. Anyway, she and I spent a total of 4 hours that night doing homework, and that was the last piece.
I got so frustrated that night. I was afraid she thought I was frustrated with her, so I told her I was not frustrated with her, but I was frustrated with the fact that the school was willing to help her read, but she wasn't getting that help. I told her it was just really frustrating for me to watch her struggle without that available help, and that giving her the answers wouldn't be helpful, so I would just try to guide her. Anyway, we managed.
I picked her up tonight and the first thing she said to me was "You got all my homework wrong. Remember? My social studies? You got it all wrong." When I asked to see it, the "4 main topics" was all that was wrong, which, again, I refused to give her the answers for.
She can't read. She also refuses to practice. You have to be on her like flies on a garbage truck to get her to practice. She repeatedly says that she gets a lot more help with homework here than her mom's, and she'd like to come here to do homework, but there was NO ownership of her getting that homework wrong, it was my fault (which is another of her problems - NOTHING is ever her fault).
What in the world do you say back to that? Step back and say I won't help anymore? Do nothing? What? The kid needs help, but my hands are tied, so what I can do is limited, but I'm not willing to be her whipping boy, either. And beyond that, I'm sure she told her mom I did it and got it wrong for her. And communication with mom is tense, at best.
Short background, she's diagnosed ADHD after almost failing 3rd grade. Her mom won't do anything, and finally the teacher and I got the school to test her. They recommended further testing, mom finally was pressured enuf to do it, did it, and was diagnosed ADHD. Recommended counseling, tutoring, and getting her involved in a social activity because she's lacking social skills (she didn't have a friend til she was in Kindergarten - grandma kept her and there was NO socializing). So here she is in 5th grade now, struggling again, reading at a 3rd grade level, and mom won't allow the school to tutor her, tho the school has offered because she qualifies with the diagnosis. She can't read, and no one will help her. .
Anyway, she was here last week doing social studies homework. She had to find 4 reasons that helped an ancient Chinese dynasty last so long. These were 1 statement answers x 4. It took her well over an hour to read 3 pages of text and pull out 4 main ideas. They weren't the answers I would have picked, but we're dealing with a kid who is reading at least a full grade level below the grade she's in, and I thought it was more important she pull out some main ideas as opposed to me handing her answers. I don't know any other way for her to have gotten them. Anyway, she and I spent a total of 4 hours that night doing homework, and that was the last piece.
I got so frustrated that night. I was afraid she thought I was frustrated with her, so I told her I was not frustrated with her, but I was frustrated with the fact that the school was willing to help her read, but she wasn't getting that help. I told her it was just really frustrating for me to watch her struggle without that available help, and that giving her the answers wouldn't be helpful, so I would just try to guide her. Anyway, we managed.
I picked her up tonight and the first thing she said to me was "You got all my homework wrong. Remember? My social studies? You got it all wrong." When I asked to see it, the "4 main topics" was all that was wrong, which, again, I refused to give her the answers for.
She can't read. She also refuses to practice. You have to be on her like flies on a garbage truck to get her to practice. She repeatedly says that she gets a lot more help with homework here than her mom's, and she'd like to come here to do homework, but there was NO ownership of her getting that homework wrong, it was my fault (which is another of her problems - NOTHING is ever her fault).
What in the world do you say back to that? Step back and say I won't help anymore? Do nothing? What? The kid needs help, but my hands are tied, so what I can do is limited, but I'm not willing to be her whipping boy, either. And beyond that, I'm sure she told her mom I did it and got it wrong for her. And communication with mom is tense, at best.