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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 131597" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Shari, I remember the book. It's called Self Matters. I read it too, and it made a world of difference in what I would put up with in life. Like you, I'm not a big fan of Dr. Phil, but some of the things he says make sense.</p><p></p><p>The only thing you can change in your family dynamic is you. How you react (or don't) to things. When and how you choose to participate (or not), etc.</p><p></p><p>One of the things I remember Dr. Phil saying is, "What's the payoff?"</p><p>In other words, what is it that you gain from this unhealthy interaction. Because there must be something, otherwise you wouldn't keep at it. I think Deb might have hit upon something. Perhaps your payoff is permission to blow your top for what you perceive to be a valid reason. I'm not sure, but it's worth looking into.</p><p></p><p>(If I keep up with the two-centses, I will soon be up to a dollar)</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 131597, member: 3907"] Shari, I remember the book. It's called Self Matters. I read it too, and it made a world of difference in what I would put up with in life. Like you, I'm not a big fan of Dr. Phil, but some of the things he says make sense. The only thing you can change in your family dynamic is you. How you react (or don't) to things. When and how you choose to participate (or not), etc. One of the things I remember Dr. Phil saying is, "What's the payoff?" In other words, what is it that you gain from this unhealthy interaction. Because there must be something, otherwise you wouldn't keep at it. I think Deb might have hit upon something. Perhaps your payoff is permission to blow your top for what you perceive to be a valid reason. I'm not sure, but it's worth looking into. (If I keep up with the two-centses, I will soon be up to a dollar) Trinity [/QUOTE]
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