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<blockquote data-quote="Coookie" data-source="post: 132266" data-attributes="member: 1587"><p>"Scary thought, but one I've started to have lately. I'm just not sure how you do that with a spouse of over 20 years, and two other kids in the house who don't deserve to suffer for what their brother is inflicting on the family."</p><p> </p><p>I have thought about your last response concerning detaching quite a bit Mikey. I would definitely detach from your wife, only because it seems that relationship has become as toxic as the one with your difficult child (doesn't matter how long you have been married) but I would not detach from the other two kids. I would move closer in helping them with whatever they need help with, being supportive, being there for them.... using all the energy for them that you are using for your difficult child and wife.</p><p> </p><p>I would say that it would cause a divide in doing this with wife but there is already one happening isn't there? Divide and conquer..... seems to be the unwritten motto of our difficult children and as long as yours is being allowed to do this... nothing will change. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p> </p><p>I have been checking in here frequently to see how things are going but you haven't posted for awhile. You know we care Mikey.</p><p> </p><p>Still holding good thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Coookie, post: 132266, member: 1587"] "Scary thought, but one I've started to have lately. I'm just not sure how you do that with a spouse of over 20 years, and two other kids in the house who don't deserve to suffer for what their brother is inflicting on the family." I have thought about your last response concerning detaching quite a bit Mikey. I would definitely detach from your wife, only because it seems that relationship has become as toxic as the one with your difficult child (doesn't matter how long you have been married) but I would not detach from the other two kids. I would move closer in helping them with whatever they need help with, being supportive, being there for them.... using all the energy for them that you are using for your difficult child and wife. I would say that it would cause a divide in doing this with wife but there is already one happening isn't there? Divide and conquer..... seems to be the unwritten motto of our difficult children and as long as yours is being allowed to do this... nothing will change. :( I have been checking in here frequently to see how things are going but you haven't posted for awhile. You know we care Mikey. Still holding good thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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