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What do you think of what the counsellor suggests?
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 533004" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Late to the party here but I was reading all of this and thinking, wow I am glad to have this group to come to so that so many perspectives can be shared to help work on some of these hard things. </p><p></p><p>I dont have this situation, so obviously have no specific great ideas. Just observations...</p><p></p><p>One, that what complicates all of this is where you live, the laws/rules. He is already doing what he wants and in some ways has proven that your hands are tied....that he can just choose to leave and black mail you with threats of "they abuse me" etc. really stinks. Two, that my automatic response would be no way he just gets to go out as long as he wants...but this situation is similar to what many of us have in the difficult child journey....the need to think way outside the box and to do things that maybe dont sit so well with us but given all of the factors may be a shot. As long as you actually, really could detach from the consequences that may come of it. Not feel it is breaking the "disrespect" part of the plan. We all know he would easily lie about where he really is. </p><p></p><p>I agree just saying no disrespect is way too broad. I am not sure many difficult child's recognize some behaviors that are disrespectful. This part will be hard and may have to have one last item...."at any time additional items can be added to this list for clarification!"</p><p></p><p>Mostly, I think the plan is just where you are....not much other choice but to let him run the show and that would do no one any good. He is trying to achieve that but in the end will obviously be better off by your setting guidelines. He is not mentally able to make a good call on this. Just too immature. But due to his age and the laws, all you can do is your best. Well in my humble opinion you are doing amazing considering what you are facing.</p><p></p><p>Sadly, I too think he is just not in a place to be able to stick with the plan. The disrespect thing will get him. Too bad you can't put him in a wilderness program or other intensive therapy situation. It is insane the age considered legally able to make those kinds of decisions. I am so sorry for you on that point. </p><p></p><p>Well, maybe he could have the choice of 4-6 months on his own OR a residential treatment facility??? </p><p></p><p>How can you enforce the 4-6 months if you have to provide unless he chooses to move out (was that what you said the law is?)</p><p></p><p>I wish you the best....it is a really tough situation and these folks here sure know the ropes, glad they could share their experience.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 533004, member: 12886"] Late to the party here but I was reading all of this and thinking, wow I am glad to have this group to come to so that so many perspectives can be shared to help work on some of these hard things. I dont have this situation, so obviously have no specific great ideas. Just observations... One, that what complicates all of this is where you live, the laws/rules. He is already doing what he wants and in some ways has proven that your hands are tied....that he can just choose to leave and black mail you with threats of "they abuse me" etc. really stinks. Two, that my automatic response would be no way he just gets to go out as long as he wants...but this situation is similar to what many of us have in the difficult child journey....the need to think way outside the box and to do things that maybe dont sit so well with us but given all of the factors may be a shot. As long as you actually, really could detach from the consequences that may come of it. Not feel it is breaking the "disrespect" part of the plan. We all know he would easily lie about where he really is. I agree just saying no disrespect is way too broad. I am not sure many difficult child's recognize some behaviors that are disrespectful. This part will be hard and may have to have one last item...."at any time additional items can be added to this list for clarification!" Mostly, I think the plan is just where you are....not much other choice but to let him run the show and that would do no one any good. He is trying to achieve that but in the end will obviously be better off by your setting guidelines. He is not mentally able to make a good call on this. Just too immature. But due to his age and the laws, all you can do is your best. Well in my humble opinion you are doing amazing considering what you are facing. Sadly, I too think he is just not in a place to be able to stick with the plan. The disrespect thing will get him. Too bad you can't put him in a wilderness program or other intensive therapy situation. It is insane the age considered legally able to make those kinds of decisions. I am so sorry for you on that point. Well, maybe he could have the choice of 4-6 months on his own OR a residential treatment facility??? How can you enforce the 4-6 months if you have to provide unless he chooses to move out (was that what you said the law is?) I wish you the best....it is a really tough situation and these folks here sure know the ropes, glad they could share their experience. [/QUOTE]
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What do you think of what the counsellor suggests?
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