Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What do you think of what the counsellor suggests?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 533285" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I haven't read the replies. I do like most of the suggestions. i think that allowing him to come home any time he wants is nuts. sorry, but a curfew means that you can go to sleep with-o worrying about someone banging around or disturbing your daughter. </p><p></p><p>I would NOt wake him up unless he had woken me up. then it might be unpleasant for him to wake up for a while, esp if it had become a habit. i saw my mother do some creative things to my brother for sleeping in inappropriate places, nude, and for being disrespectful. My mother stopped waking us up in about grade 3, so there is NO reason a 16yo can't get himself up. well, my bro did have problems and I did wake him up when we were in high school, but he paid me. I had many envious friends because they got into trouble for pouring ice water on their sibs and I got paid to do it to mine! of course he wakes up swinging, always has so waking him up any other way is a recipe for a black eye and broken nose.</p><p></p><p>But if he misses the free transportation then he pays for the bus pass - you do NOT. </p><p></p><p>PLEASE stop thinking his life will be 'ruined' if he doesn't graduate high school. It won't be. He will have 60+ more years after high school and he CAN go turn it around at any time. Unless he goes to prison for life for something, his life is more difficult and he has to learn the hard way, but it is NOT ruined. </p><p></p><p>I would insist that he do the things you ahve listed. I would list firm consequences for the disrespect, etc... up to and incl moving out if it keeps happening. It is easy for a therapist to say to not tolerate disrespect, etc.... The problem is that you ahve to figure out HOW to not tolerate it. It isn't as easy to figure out a consequence that will matter but is NOT overkill. I 110% think you should stay OUT of his schoolwork unless/until he ASKS for help and is respectful as you give it (esp meaning that it isn't your fault if he gets a bad grade and he is not rude/disrespectful about the help you give).</p><p></p><p>I think you have the start of a good plan but need to refine consequences and define the expectations a bit more. Don't be disrespectful is rather vague, etc....</p><p></p><p>Parenting Your Teen with Love and Logic is a book that might be helpful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 533285, member: 1233"] I haven't read the replies. I do like most of the suggestions. i think that allowing him to come home any time he wants is nuts. sorry, but a curfew means that you can go to sleep with-o worrying about someone banging around or disturbing your daughter. I would NOt wake him up unless he had woken me up. then it might be unpleasant for him to wake up for a while, esp if it had become a habit. i saw my mother do some creative things to my brother for sleeping in inappropriate places, nude, and for being disrespectful. My mother stopped waking us up in about grade 3, so there is NO reason a 16yo can't get himself up. well, my bro did have problems and I did wake him up when we were in high school, but he paid me. I had many envious friends because they got into trouble for pouring ice water on their sibs and I got paid to do it to mine! of course he wakes up swinging, always has so waking him up any other way is a recipe for a black eye and broken nose. But if he misses the free transportation then he pays for the bus pass - you do NOT. PLEASE stop thinking his life will be 'ruined' if he doesn't graduate high school. It won't be. He will have 60+ more years after high school and he CAN go turn it around at any time. Unless he goes to prison for life for something, his life is more difficult and he has to learn the hard way, but it is NOT ruined. I would insist that he do the things you ahve listed. I would list firm consequences for the disrespect, etc... up to and incl moving out if it keeps happening. It is easy for a therapist to say to not tolerate disrespect, etc.... The problem is that you ahve to figure out HOW to not tolerate it. It isn't as easy to figure out a consequence that will matter but is NOT overkill. I 110% think you should stay OUT of his schoolwork unless/until he ASKS for help and is respectful as you give it (esp meaning that it isn't your fault if he gets a bad grade and he is not rude/disrespectful about the help you give). I think you have the start of a good plan but need to refine consequences and define the expectations a bit more. Don't be disrespectful is rather vague, etc.... Parenting Your Teen with Love and Logic is a book that might be helpful. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What do you think of what the counsellor suggests?
Top