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What do you think of what the counsellor suggests?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 533800" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I'm sorry to hear, your son's world is crumbling. It is awfully scary to watch. Even when you do know that most who have to live through that experience come out from the other side just fine. But then you also know that for some it just is too much, and that is so very scary thought. Kids at that age have so very limited understanding of what they can sustain, how well time indeed does help and how long time rest of their life is compared the time they will most likely feel very bad. While they are so capable in so many ways, their world still operates largely here and now basis. And they tend to be melodramatic and believe on their own drama. And unfortunately it doesn't help that much, that you tell them that they are able to live through it.</p><p></p><p>We were there year and a half ago. Our son had screwed up really badly and because of that, his world fell apart. It didn't help that to preserve some of his life he had to move away and become independent. For him everything changed and while it now feels that most of the changes have been for the better (our son does better than ever in many parts of his life and in many ways his new environment is much better fit for him at least for now) at the time he felt it was pure punishment and we worried how he would survive with all the additional challenges when he didn't do that well without them. And we worried. Oh heavens, did we worry and fear for him. He had support system in place, he was kept on eye at, he got a lot of help, but still. Scary times.</p><p></p><p>To be honest I would think through again, how much adult-like responsibility your son can handle in this time and how much he still needs guidance. School may well be an area there you can let him try independence, and not succeed, if that is a case. He has more than enough time to correct those mistake later, so maybe not worth the struggle. But he does still need his parents to guide him. In your home or out of it, but he still needs you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 533800, member: 14557"] I'm sorry to hear, your son's world is crumbling. It is awfully scary to watch. Even when you do know that most who have to live through that experience come out from the other side just fine. But then you also know that for some it just is too much, and that is so very scary thought. Kids at that age have so very limited understanding of what they can sustain, how well time indeed does help and how long time rest of their life is compared the time they will most likely feel very bad. While they are so capable in so many ways, their world still operates largely here and now basis. And they tend to be melodramatic and believe on their own drama. And unfortunately it doesn't help that much, that you tell them that they are able to live through it. We were there year and a half ago. Our son had screwed up really badly and because of that, his world fell apart. It didn't help that to preserve some of his life he had to move away and become independent. For him everything changed and while it now feels that most of the changes have been for the better (our son does better than ever in many parts of his life and in many ways his new environment is much better fit for him at least for now) at the time he felt it was pure punishment and we worried how he would survive with all the additional challenges when he didn't do that well without them. And we worried. Oh heavens, did we worry and fear for him. He had support system in place, he was kept on eye at, he got a lot of help, but still. Scary times. To be honest I would think through again, how much adult-like responsibility your son can handle in this time and how much he still needs guidance. School may well be an area there you can let him try independence, and not succeed, if that is a case. He has more than enough time to correct those mistake later, so maybe not worth the struggle. But he does still need his parents to guide him. In your home or out of it, but he still needs you. [/QUOTE]
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What do you think of what the counsellor suggests?
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