What do you think the single defining...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tiredmommy, Feb 11, 2008.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    characteristic of gfgdom is? I'm thinking, in Duckie's case at least, that it may be her lack of ownership of her problems. She deflects blame better than a star goalie deflects pucks! Anyway, I was curious as to what others thought the root character flaw was in their difficult child.
     
  2. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Inability to learn from mistakes.
     
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Truly skewed logic for my daughter. It's not just the convoluted thinking to get out of something, it's the thinking that makes everyone responsible for her and her feelings.
     
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    His love of arguing over anything, with anyone. When in the mood, he would argue that the sky is not blue
     
  5. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    Mine wouldn't know ownership/responsibility if it stood right in her face, bit her on the a** and announced itself! it's knowing that what you're dealing with is not the "norm". Everyone has off days - but not 365 in a row!! It always amazes me that we deal with what we deal with all the time and most moms are complaining about a B instead of an A as we are just tickled if they make it through a day with out a melt down! We are stronger - difficult child's ensure it!
    -Dara
     
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Poor social skills plus anxiety - nasty mix.

    Marg
     
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Poor social skills and low self esteem
     
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Impulsiveness along with a healthy dose of not caring about any one but himself, the inability to see that tomorrow has anything to do with what he does today and a complete lack of moral fiber.
     
  9. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    For K right now I would say it is her grandiosity mixed with the lack of reality!!! There is no real movement forward... I am sure this will change!!! These 2 things luckily seem to encompass every symptom!!!
     
  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I'd have to say:
    1. Inability to see cause & effect
    2. Poor impulse control
    3. Lack of boundaries (social skills).
    4. "Orphan" mentality.
    The above apply to both kt & wm on any given day or in any given moment. It contributes to their constant need for supervision & a controlled setting. For the continual reminders & cues.

    Thanks for the thread, TM. It's interesting to see what each of us is dealing with on any given day.:erm:
     
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I've been thinking about this since last night and having a hard time coming up with just one. I think his sense of skewed logic is huge. In his mind he is always justified for everything he does. If he gets violent it's the fault of the person for making him mad. There is no arguing with him because he is always right.
     
  12. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The inability to go with the flow and be flexible.
     
  13. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    Disordered black and white thinking which leads to anger problems.
     
  14. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    "It's not MY fault"
     
  15. SaraT

    SaraT New Member

    I think its a combination of things. All kids have periods of not taking responsibility, lying, etc, but when it is ongoing and all together, thats when you know you are in gfgdom. Add poor social skills, poor emotional control, being in ones own little world, and there you have mine.
     
  16. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Sounds like all of this rolled up into one child is a difficult child. My difficult child has bits of everything you have described.
     
  17. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yes, all of these things are my difficult child.
    My single way to describe difficult child:

    Resistant to parenting

    That is the way I describe it now. She just resists all efforts at parenting. I still dole it out and she still resists. People 'get' that when I say it that way. They seem to accept that easier than oppositional or defiant. I have no idea why. The school seemed to have their 'ahha' moment when I put it this way.
     
  18. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Wow, what is interesting to me is my difficult child has issues with all of these things, except the orpan mentality. It's good to see others put the issues to words, because sometimes I cannot.
     
  19. ML

    ML Guest

    YES YES YES YES. You have just described it all for me. I can't think of anything to add.
     
  20. tammyjh

    tammyjh New Member

    1. Her inability to regulate her moods.
    2. Lack of reasoning skills.
    3. Lack of empathy.

    I know you asked for only one but those are the top three that all seem to run together but the moods is at the top of the list.
     
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