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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 597306"><p>I am so sorry for all that you are going thru, I know your heart is hurting.</p><p></p><p>I guess my question would be - can you well afford the $30 a week and the storage fees?</p><p></p><p>If the money you are sending her is taking food off your table or out of your savings or retirement funds or you are otherwise doing without, I would stop sending it. </p><p></p><p>If it's money that you don't miss? I might keep sending it or cut it down to $20 a week.</p><p></p><p>I get the impression that this $30 per week is often your only tie to your daughter. I also well understand the desperate need to do something aka ANYTHING you can to keep that tie and to provide for her and make sure she isn't penniless - hoping that it will make the difference should she decide to start changing her life. I too would be very hesitant to break that last tie to her.The money must provide some reassurance to both of you that you aren't throwing her away and that you will not fall out of touch. I know that it would for me.</p><p></p><p>So, if you can afford the $30 a week and you can think of it as something you are doing for YOUR OWN sanity, I would have no qualms about continuing to send her money. Again, I might cut it down to $20, but that's just me. (When we were in counseling with our difficult child, his ATOD counselor told us that more than $20 a week was an invitation to trouble. But I don't know - that was our own experience and we've just stuck with the number!)</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry that your daughter is at risk right now and I hope that things start to go better for her soon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 597306"] I am so sorry for all that you are going thru, I know your heart is hurting. I guess my question would be - can you well afford the $30 a week and the storage fees? If the money you are sending her is taking food off your table or out of your savings or retirement funds or you are otherwise doing without, I would stop sending it. If it's money that you don't miss? I might keep sending it or cut it down to $20 a week. I get the impression that this $30 per week is often your only tie to your daughter. I also well understand the desperate need to do something aka ANYTHING you can to keep that tie and to provide for her and make sure she isn't penniless - hoping that it will make the difference should she decide to start changing her life. I too would be very hesitant to break that last tie to her.The money must provide some reassurance to both of you that you aren't throwing her away and that you will not fall out of touch. I know that it would for me. So, if you can afford the $30 a week and you can think of it as something you are doing for YOUR OWN sanity, I would have no qualms about continuing to send her money. Again, I might cut it down to $20, but that's just me. (When we were in counseling with our difficult child, his ATOD counselor told us that more than $20 a week was an invitation to trouble. But I don't know - that was our own experience and we've just stuck with the number!) I am so sorry that your daughter is at risk right now and I hope that things start to go better for her soon. [/QUOTE]
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