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<blockquote data-quote="Hopeful97" data-source="post: 694795" data-attributes="member: 19678"><p>Leafy,</p><p></p><p>I am so very heartbroken for you over the loss of your hubs you are in my prayers.</p><p></p><p>It has been a while. As soon as I got on the site to start a thread I saw this thread. I read your initial post and scrolled down to talk to you. My heart sank when I read your words!</p><p></p><p>There has been a lot going on here too. My thought about what is going on with your d c is that I think I would talk to d c wherever d c is, I wouldn't ask d c to come over or stop by. I might bring some food. If all goes well after several visits I might approach the subject of d c getting real help. I believe that an addict is always an addict just as an alcoholic is always an alcoholic unless they get help and are serious about it, then the hope is one day (sooner rather than later) they will be able to say recovering addict or recovering alcoholic. I would take things extremely slowly. I would not do very much talking for a very long time amd this would be very difficult especially after ok visits with d c. I really cannot say what I would or wouldn't do, I know this has to be ripping you apart all over again not only because of the incredible loss you have had but because your hubs isn't there for the support you gave each other regarding d c so in a way it's a triple whammy.</p><p></p><p>Remember you are a special person, very loved. A great mom truly needed.</p><p></p><p>As our d c s have a lot of similarities it makes me think given the situation your d c (as well as mine) would see this as a great opportunity to try to manipulate via words, emotions and actions. I would say right now the best way would be via emotional manipulation because of your tender and vulnerable state. One thing I do know d c s are really good at manipulating especially in a situation when they know we are probably not thinking straight and/or are already on emotional overload. Please, please be very careful.</p><p></p><p>Know that you and your son are in my prayers <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/11-24a.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":angel3:" title="angel :angel3:" data-shortname=":angel3:" />as well as the rest of your family.</p><p></p><p>Huge, Huge, Hugs to you <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/angel.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":angel:" title="angel :angel:" data-shortname=":angel:" /></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p>Hopeful<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/11-24a.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":angel3:" title="angel :angel3:" data-shortname=":angel3:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hopeful97, post: 694795, member: 19678"] Leafy, I am so very heartbroken for you over the loss of your hubs you are in my prayers. It has been a while. As soon as I got on the site to start a thread I saw this thread. I read your initial post and scrolled down to talk to you. My heart sank when I read your words! There has been a lot going on here too. My thought about what is going on with your d c is that I think I would talk to d c wherever d c is, I wouldn't ask d c to come over or stop by. I might bring some food. If all goes well after several visits I might approach the subject of d c getting real help. I believe that an addict is always an addict just as an alcoholic is always an alcoholic unless they get help and are serious about it, then the hope is one day (sooner rather than later) they will be able to say recovering addict or recovering alcoholic. I would take things extremely slowly. I would not do very much talking for a very long time amd this would be very difficult especially after ok visits with d c. I really cannot say what I would or wouldn't do, I know this has to be ripping you apart all over again not only because of the incredible loss you have had but because your hubs isn't there for the support you gave each other regarding d c so in a way it's a triple whammy. Remember you are a special person, very loved. A great mom truly needed. As our d c s have a lot of similarities it makes me think given the situation your d c (as well as mine) would see this as a great opportunity to try to manipulate via words, emotions and actions. I would say right now the best way would be via emotional manipulation because of your tender and vulnerable state. One thing I do know d c s are really good at manipulating especially in a situation when they know we are probably not thinking straight and/or are already on emotional overload. Please, please be very careful. Know that you and your son are in my prayers :angel3:as well as the rest of your family. Huge, Huge, Hugs to you :notalone::angel: :hugs::hugs: Hopeful:angel3: [/QUOTE]
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