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<blockquote data-quote="Suz" data-source="post: 99701" data-attributes="member: 29"><p>Well, these are my thoughts and probably worth every penny you spent to get it :smile:</p><p></p><p>I think you need to give up on the thought of being included this year and I think you also shouldn't talk about it with anyone. You know what you are saying to L but you have no way of knowing how she is translating it in her head...or translating it verbally to your family. And I think that if you think you are talking to her confidentially you are mistaken. I don't think that L would intentionally hurt things but this is between you and your parents and she should be kept out of the loop altogether.</p><p></p><p>Man, that is a lot of "thinks."</p><p></p><p>Anyway, if my longterm goal is to be included in the nuclear family gatherings again and there is major trepidation on both sides about whether or not both sides can behave themselves....I would go to the family reunion next summer. It would show my interest in being included and it would give me an opportunity to show that I can hold my tongue and mind my manners. And it would also give them the opportunity to show that THEY can hold their tongues and mind their manners! Going through that event successfully might very well pave the way for an invitation to next year's holiday dinners.</p><p></p><p>Suz</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Suz, post: 99701, member: 29"] Well, these are my thoughts and probably worth every penny you spent to get it [img]:smile:[/img] I think you need to give up on the thought of being included this year and I think you also shouldn't talk about it with anyone. You know what you are saying to L but you have no way of knowing how she is translating it in her head...or translating it verbally to your family. And I think that if you think you are talking to her confidentially you are mistaken. I don't think that L would intentionally hurt things but this is between you and your parents and she should be kept out of the loop altogether. Man, that is a lot of "thinks." Anyway, if my longterm goal is to be included in the nuclear family gatherings again and there is major trepidation on both sides about whether or not both sides can behave themselves....I would go to the family reunion next summer. It would show my interest in being included and it would give me an opportunity to show that I can hold my tongue and mind my manners. And it would also give them the opportunity to show that THEY can hold their tongues and mind their manners! Going through that event successfully might very well pave the way for an invitation to next year's holiday dinners. Suz [/QUOTE]
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