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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 99751" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>It's nice to hear a different perspective on this stuff. I think we take it for granted sometimes that people have the same life experiences as we do, and it's a shocker sometimes when I see that not everyone had a drunk yet brilliant Uncle Frank, or a wealthy sister who wants everyone else to finance their kid's Christmas.</p><p></p><p>To answer the question, it's years and years of dysfunction.</p><p></p><p>I don't have much interest in going to the reunion, because I think it's for them to pretend that there isn't dysfunction. It's not that I care so much about the dysfunction, it's the pretending that there isn't any that gets my goat.</p><p></p><p>I'd rather know that they were having Tday at my moms and at what time, go over to the house with my husband and ring the bell. Swear to God, they'd let me in, we'd sit down and have dinner, and there would be no fuss no muss until I was gone (right after dinner) because my family does <em>not</em> under any circumstances make a scene in front of anyone. They're too good at stabbing you in the back for that. Then they'd moan and gnash their teeth amongst themselves about how they couldn't believe I showed up. They'd get around to telling L how awful I was to show, but since she was there, she'd have her own perspective about it. That's a total fantasy, though, because my husband and L would never back me up.</p><p></p><p>Honest to goodness, it's wrong to invite my kids to holidays and weddings and funerals but not invite me. It's wrong of my kids to go without me.</p><p></p><p>by the way, L hasn't called. But if I'm not good enough for an hour or two of strained niceties at Thanksgiving, I want nothing to do with family reunions. I think that's a reasonable interpretation for any of us regardless of our family histories. That's where my thoughts on this were, and that's what I want L to know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 99751, member: 99"] It's nice to hear a different perspective on this stuff. I think we take it for granted sometimes that people have the same life experiences as we do, and it's a shocker sometimes when I see that not everyone had a drunk yet brilliant Uncle Frank, or a wealthy sister who wants everyone else to finance their kid's Christmas. To answer the question, it's years and years of dysfunction. I don't have much interest in going to the reunion, because I think it's for them to pretend that there isn't dysfunction. It's not that I care so much about the dysfunction, it's the pretending that there isn't any that gets my goat. I'd rather know that they were having Tday at my moms and at what time, go over to the house with my husband and ring the bell. Swear to God, they'd let me in, we'd sit down and have dinner, and there would be no fuss no muss until I was gone (right after dinner) because my family does [i]not[/i] under any circumstances make a scene in front of anyone. They're too good at stabbing you in the back for that. Then they'd moan and gnash their teeth amongst themselves about how they couldn't believe I showed up. They'd get around to telling L how awful I was to show, but since she was there, she'd have her own perspective about it. That's a total fantasy, though, because my husband and L would never back me up. Honest to goodness, it's wrong to invite my kids to holidays and weddings and funerals but not invite me. It's wrong of my kids to go without me. by the way, L hasn't called. But if I'm not good enough for an hour or two of strained niceties at Thanksgiving, I want nothing to do with family reunions. I think that's a reasonable interpretation for any of us regardless of our family histories. That's where my thoughts on this were, and that's what I want L to know. [/QUOTE]
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