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Substance Abuse
What do you treat first?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 97844" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>First, your sister is probably not an expert. And neither are we.</p><p></p><p>Second, your gut instincts are what you listen to first. And second. Everyone else is later.</p><p></p><p>Everything I have read, and heard from adults and teen with bipolar, says that you stabilize moods first BECAUSE many of the other medications can make the moods cycle. If the moods are stable, THEN you can evaluate to see what next to treat. If moods are NOT stable, all the other medications in the world will not help.</p><p></p><p>As for music, EVERY generation seems to use this to rebel. Even in the Amish cultures this is sometimes seen - part of the reason for the period of time for a young adult to go into the secular world for a period of time. Then they can make a choice.</p><p></p><p>Music is NOT a battle I would fight UNLESS it contributes DIRECTLY to his behavior. I had a roommate who would listen to Guns and Roses every single time she binged and purged. Part of her treatment was to NOT listen to this. </p><p></p><p>I personally insist that music that is offensive to the parents is NOT played outside your bedroom. Exceptions are made for listening with headphones and NOT singing the lyrics.</p><p></p><p>I think you have some bigger battles than music. Talk with your difficult child and the staff at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to make rules and address these issues.</p><p></p><p>The BIG issue here, in my humble opinion, is that with a 16 yo you need to set general rules, but you also need to have them in a COOPERATIVE method as much as possible. If your 16yo is totally against ADHD medications, then forcing him to take them may not be the best you can do. It might be needed, but I would make it a last resort.</p><p></p><p>If you come on too strong it may seem to your son that his opinions are not important to you. You need some cooperation from him, and so maybe the Aunt needs to be quiet.</p><p></p><p>You know your kid. Better than anyone. Do what you can to work WITH him, rather than AGAINST him. See what rules he thinks are reasonable, and what rules you think are reasonable. You may be on the same page. Pick the rules you totally MUST have, then work with the rest to find a reasonable middle ground.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>Susie</p><p></p><p>ps. Many of us get pressure from family members, and we all have to cope in different ways. Is your sister an expert on the other diagnosis, and how to tell one from the other?? IF she is, can I send my child to her, because NO doctor we have seen claims this. Each child is different, as is each family. It may work for your sister to take all music away and start a war, but it may not for you. It is OK to tell your sister you are doing it a different way because THAT is what is best for your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 97844, member: 1233"] First, your sister is probably not an expert. And neither are we. Second, your gut instincts are what you listen to first. And second. Everyone else is later. Everything I have read, and heard from adults and teen with bipolar, says that you stabilize moods first BECAUSE many of the other medications can make the moods cycle. If the moods are stable, THEN you can evaluate to see what next to treat. If moods are NOT stable, all the other medications in the world will not help. As for music, EVERY generation seems to use this to rebel. Even in the Amish cultures this is sometimes seen - part of the reason for the period of time for a young adult to go into the secular world for a period of time. Then they can make a choice. Music is NOT a battle I would fight UNLESS it contributes DIRECTLY to his behavior. I had a roommate who would listen to Guns and Roses every single time she binged and purged. Part of her treatment was to NOT listen to this. I personally insist that music that is offensive to the parents is NOT played outside your bedroom. Exceptions are made for listening with headphones and NOT singing the lyrics. I think you have some bigger battles than music. Talk with your difficult child and the staff at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to make rules and address these issues. The BIG issue here, in my humble opinion, is that with a 16 yo you need to set general rules, but you also need to have them in a COOPERATIVE method as much as possible. If your 16yo is totally against ADHD medications, then forcing him to take them may not be the best you can do. It might be needed, but I would make it a last resort. If you come on too strong it may seem to your son that his opinions are not important to you. You need some cooperation from him, and so maybe the Aunt needs to be quiet. You know your kid. Better than anyone. Do what you can to work WITH him, rather than AGAINST him. See what rules he thinks are reasonable, and what rules you think are reasonable. You may be on the same page. Pick the rules you totally MUST have, then work with the rest to find a reasonable middle ground. Hugs, Susie ps. Many of us get pressure from family members, and we all have to cope in different ways. Is your sister an expert on the other diagnosis, and how to tell one from the other?? IF she is, can I send my child to her, because NO doctor we have seen claims this. Each child is different, as is each family. It may work for your sister to take all music away and start a war, but it may not for you. It is OK to tell your sister you are doing it a different way because THAT is what is best for your family. [/QUOTE]
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