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What does detachment look like to you?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 611227" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This thread is relevant to what happened to me tonight. 35, 36 tomorrow (his birthday) called to whine and b**** about how hard it is for him to "wait" for the final outcome, which he already knows, but there are little things he is concerned with such as whether or not his child support will go down because his ex is making a lot more money now. As far as I'm concerned, his big battle is over and I don't really care about this piddly stuff and him whining about it is very annoying to me. I stayed on a minute or so then said, "Look, you got what you wanted. Your going to have to wait like everyone else does." I did not say it unkindly. But he was pretty unkind when he said, "Well, f*** you, you have no compassion..." *click* I hung up. WTH? I no longer am concerned he will kill himself, not that I could stop him if he really wanted to and I am not going to listen to him whine about minor stuff. The scary part is, if any of my other kids would have spoken to me that way, I would have gotten off the phone and cried, it would have hurt so much. Of course, they wouldn't talk to me that way, but if they had, even one time, I would have been devestated. </p><p></p><p>I have detached so much emotionally from 35 (soon-to-be 36) that it didn't even phase me. I went on with what I was doing, greeted a few trick or treaters and didn't feel anything at all over 35. I am so used to him and his garbage mouth that I can hear him and not even feel bad or angry or anything. I just feel....normal. He is no longer in a crisis due to mental illness and I am no longer going to listen because of the fear of suicide on his part. You know what he's getting tomorrow for his birthday? A text from me that says, "Happy birthday. Love, Mom." That is more than he gives anyone else. </p><p></p><p>I guess you can really get to the point where they can bombard you with abuse and it bounces right off of you. Since he is no longer in any danger to himself, I am no longer even a little bit invested in listening to his crapola. Detachment rocks! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 611227, member: 1550"] This thread is relevant to what happened to me tonight. 35, 36 tomorrow (his birthday) called to whine and b**** about how hard it is for him to "wait" for the final outcome, which he already knows, but there are little things he is concerned with such as whether or not his child support will go down because his ex is making a lot more money now. As far as I'm concerned, his big battle is over and I don't really care about this piddly stuff and him whining about it is very annoying to me. I stayed on a minute or so then said, "Look, you got what you wanted. Your going to have to wait like everyone else does." I did not say it unkindly. But he was pretty unkind when he said, "Well, f*** you, you have no compassion..." *click* I hung up. WTH? I no longer am concerned he will kill himself, not that I could stop him if he really wanted to and I am not going to listen to him whine about minor stuff. The scary part is, if any of my other kids would have spoken to me that way, I would have gotten off the phone and cried, it would have hurt so much. Of course, they wouldn't talk to me that way, but if they had, even one time, I would have been devestated. I have detached so much emotionally from 35 (soon-to-be 36) that it didn't even phase me. I went on with what I was doing, greeted a few trick or treaters and didn't feel anything at all over 35. I am so used to him and his garbage mouth that I can hear him and not even feel bad or angry or anything. I just feel....normal. He is no longer in a crisis due to mental illness and I am no longer going to listen because of the fear of suicide on his part. You know what he's getting tomorrow for his birthday? A text from me that says, "Happy birthday. Love, Mom." That is more than he gives anyone else. I guess you can really get to the point where they can bombard you with abuse and it bounces right off of you. Since he is no longer in any danger to himself, I am no longer even a little bit invested in listening to his crapola. Detachment rocks! :) [/QUOTE]
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