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What does detachment look like to you?
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 612920" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Self talk is <em>so</em> important. </p><p></p><p>I sing Alto in a community choir, and this year we have a new director. It's been a challenge. A choir has to work - pardon the pun - in concert. You have 25 women and they are all saying "light". Just the "t" in light <em>must</em><em> be</em> exactly the same from all 25 women. Just as every other sound and every other silence <em>must be</em> matched and/or mingled perfectly. And Alto's <em>never</em> sing the melody. The new director has been very <em>hands off.</em> We've had half as many rehearsals. We have had no rehearsal materials to work with so those of us who don't play an instrument have been on our own. We started this journey one week before I got that letter from my dad. My, oh, my - did my self talk become negative.</p><p></p><p>"I can't." "I don't understand." "I hate this song." "This is so schlocky." I even sent the music back after a couple of weeks. I couldn't get 4 bars into the music without telling myself that I couldn't. (Thanks, dad...) I sucked it up and got my music back, and still couldn't figure it out. I ordered part predominant recordings where I could find them and that helped. Then I found a computer program that takes snapshots of sheet music and plays it. I made recordings and posted them on Soundcloud. There were lots of us who were lost and I was getting 30 - 40 hits a day from people using it to rehearse. And I'm learning a <em>lot</em>, but I'm still saying "I hate this." "I'll never get it."</p><p></p><p>And <em>that</em> is when it dawned on me. I had to stop telling myself that I couldn't. It really doesn't matter if I hate some of the music or think that the rehearsal material isn't helpful. I enjoy other parts and it's not as if I am rolling in friends here. These are the people I know. I <em>can</em> do this and if I want to <em>keep</em> doing this I have to use positive self talk. So the last few days I have sat down with the problem pieces and said, "I'm going to figure this out." And don't you, I did. I also talked to the President of the Choir Board and made sure that I will be a part of the process in the Spring and that we <em>will have</em> rehearsal material. I really had to step up my game. And, I suppose that realistically between my L having her babies any day now and my dad dying so slowly that he'll have more opportunities to reach out and say/do something awful that I will have to ignore the negativity and move through it. </p><p></p><p>I know that I need to step up my self-talk game all the way around. I can say "I can't" or I can say "I can". More easily said than done, I know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 612920, member: 99"] Self talk is [I]so[/I] important. I sing Alto in a community choir, and this year we have a new director. It's been a challenge. A choir has to work - pardon the pun - in concert. You have 25 women and they are all saying "light". Just the "t" in light [I]must[/I][I] be[/I] exactly the same from all 25 women. Just as every other sound and every other silence [I]must be[/I] matched and/or mingled perfectly. And Alto's [I]never[/I] sing the melody. The new director has been very [I]hands off.[/I] We've had half as many rehearsals. We have had no rehearsal materials to work with so those of us who don't play an instrument have been on our own. We started this journey one week before I got that letter from my dad. My, oh, my - did my self talk become negative. "I can't." "I don't understand." "I hate this song." "This is so schlocky." I even sent the music back after a couple of weeks. I couldn't get 4 bars into the music without telling myself that I couldn't. (Thanks, dad...) I sucked it up and got my music back, and still couldn't figure it out. I ordered part predominant recordings where I could find them and that helped. Then I found a computer program that takes snapshots of sheet music and plays it. I made recordings and posted them on Soundcloud. There were lots of us who were lost and I was getting 30 - 40 hits a day from people using it to rehearse. And I'm learning a [I]lot[/I], but I'm still saying "I hate this." "I'll never get it." And [I]that[/I] is when it dawned on me. I had to stop telling myself that I couldn't. It really doesn't matter if I hate some of the music or think that the rehearsal material isn't helpful. I enjoy other parts and it's not as if I am rolling in friends here. These are the people I know. I [I]can[/I] do this and if I want to [I]keep[/I] doing this I have to use positive self talk. So the last few days I have sat down with the problem pieces and said, "I'm going to figure this out." And don't you, I did. I also talked to the President of the Choir Board and made sure that I will be a part of the process in the Spring and that we [I]will have[/I] rehearsal material. I really had to step up my game. And, I suppose that realistically between my L having her babies any day now and my dad dying so slowly that he'll have more opportunities to reach out and say/do something awful that I will have to ignore the negativity and move through it. I know that I need to step up my self-talk game all the way around. I can say "I can't" or I can say "I can". More easily said than done, I know. [/QUOTE]
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