Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What does detachment look like to you?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 613039" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Here is another interesting thing that has been happening, just lately.</p><p></p><p>I have waist-length red hair going absolutely grey. It is curly and frizzy and forever uncontrollable. Lately ~ not just within the past month or so, but within the past year or so, I have stopped setting and spraying and bemoaning my hair. I have been sort of letting it be. While this was freeing, my self-talk involved things like: "Oh, whatever. I just have bad hair. At least it's neat." (This is when I first began braiding it in a bun at the back of my head.) So, here is the interesting thing: I have been relaxing on the whole hair thing over the past months. A little less control, a little more acceptance. I never really connected it to what was going on with me, psychologically or emotionally. Two days ago, I washed it and did not straighten it. I let it air dry. This is something I have not done since...well, I don't know. Since I was 12 or 13, I suppose. So, it is way less frizzy, but way, way more uncontrollable. You can't even imagine! I have like, hair everywhere. But here is the interesting part. As crummy as I have felt, reliving the abuse thing...I caught an unexpected glimpse of my frizzy, out of control, red to greying, greying, gone hair this morning...and found myself approving. Just a flash of approval. That NEVER happens. Whenever I catch an unexpected glimpse of myself, I am so busy judging what is wrong that I become embarrassed. </p><p></p><p>Seriously.</p><p></p><p>So, there is something happening here that has to do, not only with not condemning myself for my appearance, but actually, with accepting and getting a kick out of it.</p><p></p><p>It's a major change.</p><p></p><p>My hair was one of my mother's primary targets.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>In rereading this, I wondered what that red hair meant to my mother. There is such superstition surrounding the red-headed child, the red-headed woman. </p><p></p><p>************</p><p></p><p>Witz, I would love to hear you, singing! I did not know you were someone who lives her voice, someone who takes such joy in song. They say we define ourselves most clearly through the things we love. You met and overcame a huge challenge through your love of song, Witz.</p><p></p><p>Happy this happened for you ~ really, so happy this happened, and that you shared it with us.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 613039, member: 1721"] Here is another interesting thing that has been happening, just lately. I have waist-length red hair going absolutely grey. It is curly and frizzy and forever uncontrollable. Lately ~ not just within the past month or so, but within the past year or so, I have stopped setting and spraying and bemoaning my hair. I have been sort of letting it be. While this was freeing, my self-talk involved things like: "Oh, whatever. I just have bad hair. At least it's neat." (This is when I first began braiding it in a bun at the back of my head.) So, here is the interesting thing: I have been relaxing on the whole hair thing over the past months. A little less control, a little more acceptance. I never really connected it to what was going on with me, psychologically or emotionally. Two days ago, I washed it and did not straighten it. I let it air dry. This is something I have not done since...well, I don't know. Since I was 12 or 13, I suppose. So, it is way less frizzy, but way, way more uncontrollable. You can't even imagine! I have like, hair everywhere. But here is the interesting part. As crummy as I have felt, reliving the abuse thing...I caught an unexpected glimpse of my frizzy, out of control, red to greying, greying, gone hair this morning...and found myself approving. Just a flash of approval. That NEVER happens. Whenever I catch an unexpected glimpse of myself, I am so busy judging what is wrong that I become embarrassed. Seriously. So, there is something happening here that has to do, not only with not condemning myself for my appearance, but actually, with accepting and getting a kick out of it. It's a major change. My hair was one of my mother's primary targets. Cedar In rereading this, I wondered what that red hair meant to my mother. There is such superstition surrounding the red-headed child, the red-headed woman. ************ Witz, I would love to hear you, singing! I did not know you were someone who lives her voice, someone who takes such joy in song. They say we define ourselves most clearly through the things we love. You met and overcame a huge challenge through your love of song, Witz. Happy this happened for you ~ really, so happy this happened, and that you shared it with us. :O) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What does detachment look like to you?
Top