Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What does detachment look like to you?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 613067" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Thanks, Cedar. I'm going to ruminate on something more appropriate than "Why do you need to know?" I have to say, I <em>loved</em> Dear Abbey. I read her every day and her answers were so <em>different</em> from anything I experienced in my home. So simple and reasonable.</p><p></p><p>I do think that I have been manipulated by - at least - two masters in my life. My dad and then L's father. Of course L feels that this is an appropriate way to treat me and <em>anyone</em> who doesn't give in to her as well. I've come to realize that there is just no way to stop their games other than to make myself unavailable to them. I <em>do</em> wish it were different, but it's not. Like you say, what they do is hurtful. I know it's not about anything I have done, and it doesn't make it any less hurtful. To pretend that I can make it not bother me would be like pretending that it's the stove's fault when I burn myself, therefore the burn doesn't hurt.</p><p></p><p>I think that the part that bothers me the most about the children being born and my father dying is that I know that they are coming, just not when. At some point I am going to be informed by someone outside my current circle of friends and family, and that someone will be someone whom I don't really have a relationship with anymore. It will be intrusive.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 613067, member: 99"] Thanks, Cedar. I'm going to ruminate on something more appropriate than "Why do you need to know?" I have to say, I [I]loved[/I] Dear Abbey. I read her every day and her answers were so [I]different[/I] from anything I experienced in my home. So simple and reasonable. I do think that I have been manipulated by - at least - two masters in my life. My dad and then L's father. Of course L feels that this is an appropriate way to treat me and [I]anyone[/I] who doesn't give in to her as well. I've come to realize that there is just no way to stop their games other than to make myself unavailable to them. I [I]do[/I] wish it were different, but it's not. Like you say, what they do is hurtful. I know it's not about anything I have done, and it doesn't make it any less hurtful. To pretend that I can make it not bother me would be like pretending that it's the stove's fault when I burn myself, therefore the burn doesn't hurt. I think that the part that bothers me the most about the children being born and my father dying is that I know that they are coming, just not when. At some point I am going to be informed by someone outside my current circle of friends and family, and that someone will be someone whom I don't really have a relationship with anymore. It will be intrusive. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What does detachment look like to you?
Top