OK, I still have cold feet re difficult child. I don't know what scares me most- but here's one big reason why: Every time difficult child thinks he's coming straight home and when he was released last year, he makes comments like this- "I don't know if I can make it", "I've been institutionalized, this is the only way I know how to live", "there's so much I missed out on, I just want to go out and do it all", "I give up to easily", "I don't fit in out there and I don't know if it's worth it". Now, these statements can be read as completely normal and understandable given his situation, they can be read as BIG red flags that he has no intent of trying, they can be read as him realizing that these are the things standing in his way and that he needs help transitioning, although he's not really open to help and so far it's a 50/50 on because he's too shy and sensitive about opening up to someone else about these things and really just not being will to accept help. In any case, I think all boys coming out of long term incarceration have these thoughts and feelings but they have to decide which road to take with it. I can never tell if my son needs support when he's feeling this way- reassurance that he CAN adjust back to normal life, or if he needs me to say. then you aren't ready to come home, or what. Everytime I try one path, he backs off and says I don't understand. Is this kid intentionally trying to get back home with me to pull this koi on me again? Does he have any idea how many more bridges that would burn? Would he be thinking he only needs me for this one more round and after that, he'll be over 18 and won't need me anymore anyway?