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General Parenting
What flips the switch?
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 537845" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Such a great thread. Amazing responses. The topic is overwhelming to me at times because it is the central theme of our lives right now. For me being as quiet as possible helps. turning off everything but NOT ignoring ...that is a trigger. I respond to what he means (but that is not easy always because if through the dozens of demands and name calling he is saying I want my old routine back, I can't make that happen right now). I try to respond to the feelings or intent but often have to give non committal answers (esp when the real answer is NO) or I risk more upset than his not knowing for sure causes (both are bad choices but have to go with the lesser of two evils). </p><p></p><p>I (like many of us) use the switch flipping analogy. One can say there is always a reason, but that reason can be internal, external, instantaneous, or a slow build up. Just cant always identify the triggers or see them coming to prevent them (esp. when you have a kid who is having multiple meltdowns)</p><p></p><p>I dont have much to add....I agree with everything here. Just so depends. We are working hard on skills that HE can use to help calm himself but the fact is in our situation we adults have to do most of the work to head things off....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 537845, member: 12886"] Such a great thread. Amazing responses. The topic is overwhelming to me at times because it is the central theme of our lives right now. For me being as quiet as possible helps. turning off everything but NOT ignoring ...that is a trigger. I respond to what he means (but that is not easy always because if through the dozens of demands and name calling he is saying I want my old routine back, I can't make that happen right now). I try to respond to the feelings or intent but often have to give non committal answers (esp when the real answer is NO) or I risk more upset than his not knowing for sure causes (both are bad choices but have to go with the lesser of two evils). I (like many of us) use the switch flipping analogy. One can say there is always a reason, but that reason can be internal, external, instantaneous, or a slow build up. Just cant always identify the triggers or see them coming to prevent them (esp. when you have a kid who is having multiple meltdowns) I dont have much to add....I agree with everything here. Just so depends. We are working hard on skills that HE can use to help calm himself but the fact is in our situation we adults have to do most of the work to head things off.... [/QUOTE]
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What flips the switch?
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