What goes on in the head of a difficult child?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wonderful Family, Jun 19, 2008.

  1. Somebody please explain how the same difficult child that had yet ANOTHER tooth pulled this morning (baby still, at least-we are up to 6 baby teeth pulled at this point) thought to call and ask for permission to stay out a little later?

    While I know everything is true, it still sounds nuts to stand there and tell the dentist in a very matter-of-fact way that your child will get physically aggressive over teeth brushing. And yes, I'm very honest about what happens with stuff like this; although certainly not detailed in anyway.

    Yes, difficult child has major sensory issues - no to autism/aspie; tested zillion times since he was 2-tested in the last year; and yes, teeth fell into Basket C - just now in Basket B.

    Teeth became less important when he was consistently trying to jump out of a moving vehicle. And I do declare he's still furious at the pediatrician from when he was sick at three that told him the antibiotics would not taste bad! And don't ask about the minor car accident 4 years ago; I think he is finally getting the idea I wasn't out to kill him!

    Occupational Therapist (OT) won't touch him - tried many times over the last several years. When Occupational Therapist (OT) has tried - he's different each time and they don't make any progress; as well as just about any other therapy!

    Whenever there is a halfway decent spell, husband and I start to look at each other, scratch our heads - and say it must be us; but then we remember!

    Just a rant or a vent. The calling home is important and wonderful that he does it. We adore our little monster, I mean, munchkin!

    Thanks for listening.
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Good for him for calling home. Getting kids in the habit of calling home at this young age will prepare them for those teen years.

    Unfortunately for the rest of us, if you ever figure out what goes on in your difficult child's head, it still will not explain ours, however, it may help point us in the right direction so keep us informed.

    Our difficult children really are awesome. We would just hope others can see past their behaviors and see the real person that we see. Someday!!
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks for the chuckle!! I understand completely! That doesn't help you any, I know, Sorry- it does sound like you are handling it very well though.

    And to answer your question- I have no idea what goes on in thier heads- apparently the thoughts are coming fast though.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    My son has always had major issues with the doctor and dentist. In fact, he didn't have a dental cleaning for three years (he refused to sit in the chair), and he was severely behind in his immunizations. The last time he had blood drawn (last August), he was under sedation for an MRI at a children's hospital.

    He, too, has sensory issues and a severe anxiety disorder (no Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)). We understand why is he afraid of medical personnel -- he experienced far too many ear infections as an infant and toddler and had his tonsils out at age 4 after developing chronic tonisillitis with high fevers. As his mood issues worsened in the last few years, teeth brushing and showers definitely fell into Basket C.

    But I have to tell you that we've made tremendous progress since his medications were straightened out after attending a day treatment program for 6 weeks last winter. Seroquel has helped temper his anxiety tremendously. Three weeks ago he went to the dentist for a cleaning. And two weeks ago he was able to tolerate two immunizations. He still doesn't like to brush his teeth or take showers, but he's definitely doing them with more regularity.

    He's still not doing that great in school -- that's our next project -- but he's so much easier to live with at home. I'll take that any day!
  5. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I think it's self-preservation, if difficult children do not do something endearing every now and again, they wouldn't survive.

    Maybe your difficult child will discover girls soon and decide teeth brushing is suddenly more important!
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I guess we wouldn't need places like this if we "knew" why people did the things they did! Let alone our kids...
    Having Bipolar myself, I have so many discussions with my husband about why I do the things I do or say the things i say!!! Still at 38 yo.
    I will give you the shirt off my back, but if you cross me. In the past it was bad. I wont even go into all of the things I did as a kid, for no reason. I still can't explain why I raged. It was just pure blind rage. Anxiety ridden at times. I had times where I was lunging myself into the floor at the grocery store, ripping out handfuls of hair.
    So many stupid thoughtless bad things. My mind just would not let me think rationally. It is such a hard thing to grasp, even now. The why, I look back and think why, why would I have ever done those things?

    I agree it is to have some control over the chaos in our minds. The feelings of being out of control are just so horrible at times, this is the one thing you feel like you have control over. Even if it is hurting people or your self.
  7. What take what we can.

    We're lucky in that he has always been good at the docs and dentist; it's just the teethbrushing and stuff like that.

    Funny story only we would appreciate. difficult child had minor ear surgery at 3 - I warned the nurses to let me in earlier then normal because he would be afraid and then start biting and hitting. They didn't believe me, patted me on the head and said don't worry. 4 nurses brought him back to us carrying him side ways while he raged. Since he was terrifiied and could not settle down, we were stuck for 3 hours waiting for them to make sure he was ok enough to leave. I don't think we actually scolded him for trying to bite the nurse who kept telling us to do something; all the while difficult child is standing up and falling down from the anesthesia.

    The very second we walked out of the hospital, difficult child looked up; but his head on my shoulder, and passed out for the next 6 hours!

    Have a good day.