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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 169940" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I think Meowbunny touched on one of the most important issues. As a parent, you know your child and need to follow your own instincts as to discipline and medication. My mother in law thought I was too strict and my mom thought I was not strict enough so I figure I must have been just right. YEP! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> (I refused to listen to mother in law and my mom never interferred - I have a great mom!)</p><p></p><p>There are always things we look back at and wished we would have done differently, but I do believe that as long as you do your very best and that it feels right for your child, then you have done the best. Anything done that we wish would have been different have to be turned into lessons - you can not change the past so don't dwell on it except to use it to make the present and future work.</p><p> </p><p>You are the ONLY expert on your child. Doctors and other professionals do not really know your child - they don't live with the child - they have not seen the child's reaction to life situations - they have not been involved in the child's decision making - only you have the most insight on your child. You know how your child will react to something. Like when our psychiatrist recommended having difficult child scrub the toilet and pick up dog poop as a unpleasant chore - that does not work for us because difficult child does not view it as unpleasant and in fact enjoys it.</p><p> </p><p>I could write a book on what works for my kids and because what I write may work for others, some may view me as an expert - but I am not and my experience is just meant as another option/view point for others to consider - only you know if my experience may work for you. So, we read books to get advise and some books we disagree with and some we love and recommend to others. Our opinions of these books are based on what we know will and will not work for our kids. Once in a while a book like the Explosive Child appears that has helped countless numbers of families and this is the first book we point to because it has proven helpful. </p><p> </p><p>You are your child's expert - you are the one to see the effects of medications - you can tell what is and is not working. It is hard because if you feel the medication is not working, you may not know what medication options there are, you usually go with what the doctor says. This forum will help with that also - If my difficult child starts having difficulty with medications, I will look to this panel for their experiense on the medicaiton and then ask my doctor if a certain medication is an option or not. (we know that we can not diagnosis or medicate each other's kids, however, we can share our experienses knowing it may or may not work for another child)</p><p> </p><p>You need to be your child's advocate in a world that sometimes have "experts" who refuse to give you the respect you deserve with the knowledge you know. Sometimes these doctors refuse to see that yes, you do understand what is going on and yes, you do have input that needs to be taken seriously. It is extremely difficult, but we must get doctors to treat us as equals - just because they have a medical education doesn't mean we don't also understand our options.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 169940, member: 5096"] I think Meowbunny touched on one of the most important issues. As a parent, you know your child and need to follow your own instincts as to discipline and medication. My mother in law thought I was too strict and my mom thought I was not strict enough so I figure I must have been just right. YEP! :) (I refused to listen to mother in law and my mom never interferred - I have a great mom!) There are always things we look back at and wished we would have done differently, but I do believe that as long as you do your very best and that it feels right for your child, then you have done the best. Anything done that we wish would have been different have to be turned into lessons - you can not change the past so don't dwell on it except to use it to make the present and future work. You are the ONLY expert on your child. Doctors and other professionals do not really know your child - they don't live with the child - they have not seen the child's reaction to life situations - they have not been involved in the child's decision making - only you have the most insight on your child. You know how your child will react to something. Like when our psychiatrist recommended having difficult child scrub the toilet and pick up dog poop as a unpleasant chore - that does not work for us because difficult child does not view it as unpleasant and in fact enjoys it. I could write a book on what works for my kids and because what I write may work for others, some may view me as an expert - but I am not and my experience is just meant as another option/view point for others to consider - only you know if my experience may work for you. So, we read books to get advise and some books we disagree with and some we love and recommend to others. Our opinions of these books are based on what we know will and will not work for our kids. Once in a while a book like the Explosive Child appears that has helped countless numbers of families and this is the first book we point to because it has proven helpful. You are your child's expert - you are the one to see the effects of medications - you can tell what is and is not working. It is hard because if you feel the medication is not working, you may not know what medication options there are, you usually go with what the doctor says. This forum will help with that also - If my difficult child starts having difficulty with medications, I will look to this panel for their experiense on the medicaiton and then ask my doctor if a certain medication is an option or not. (we know that we can not diagnosis or medicate each other's kids, however, we can share our experienses knowing it may or may not work for another child) You need to be your child's advocate in a world that sometimes have "experts" who refuse to give you the respect you deserve with the knowledge you know. Sometimes these doctors refuse to see that yes, you do understand what is going on and yes, you do have input that needs to be taken seriously. It is extremely difficult, but we must get doctors to treat us as equals - just because they have a medical education doesn't mean we don't also understand our options. [/QUOTE]
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