Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What *has* worked for you?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 170347" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Sara, you said about your son, "I sat back and let him do things when he felt strong enough, when he was ready. My job was to support, not push."</p><p></p><p>That fits very much with what I said about showing your kids respect, listening to them and meeting them where they are. </p><p></p><p>A difficult child is often very strong; they need to be, in order to cope sometimes. If we clash with our kids or try to use force, we generally will lose because our attention is often spread thin. They, on the other hand, can put all their effort into one thing and therefore have the advantage of intensifying their effort.</p><p></p><p>If you're sent out to walk a dog, and it is a very large, exuberant mastiff, you often have better success if you guide him rather than try to drag him in the opposite direction to where he is determined to go. By careful guiding, you may have more success in gradually steering him bit by bit in the right way. Alternatively, let the dog explore what it wants to and get it out of its system, and then maybe the dog will be less distracted and not fight you so hard in taking it where YOU want to go.</p><p></p><p>Sara, that sounds like what you did - and it was a good thing. You are right - especially when our difficult children try things at the rate THEY want to, even if we don't think they are ready for it, they will still learn from both their failures and their successes.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 170347, member: 1991"] Sara, you said about your son, "I sat back and let him do things when he felt strong enough, when he was ready. My job was to support, not push." That fits very much with what I said about showing your kids respect, listening to them and meeting them where they are. A difficult child is often very strong; they need to be, in order to cope sometimes. If we clash with our kids or try to use force, we generally will lose because our attention is often spread thin. They, on the other hand, can put all their effort into one thing and therefore have the advantage of intensifying their effort. If you're sent out to walk a dog, and it is a very large, exuberant mastiff, you often have better success if you guide him rather than try to drag him in the opposite direction to where he is determined to go. By careful guiding, you may have more success in gradually steering him bit by bit in the right way. Alternatively, let the dog explore what it wants to and get it out of its system, and then maybe the dog will be less distracted and not fight you so hard in taking it where YOU want to go. Sara, that sounds like what you did - and it was a good thing. You are right - especially when our difficult children try things at the rate THEY want to, even if we don't think they are ready for it, they will still learn from both their failures and their successes. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What *has* worked for you?
Top