what hats do you wear?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by dreamer, Apr 16, 2008.

  1. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    When I was a little girl, I never questioned that I WOULD be a wife someday, and I would be a mother. But when I hit 25 or so, I kinda decided I was NOT going to marry after all....becuz truth is I had not found anyone quite right for me. And then, LOL, I did! ROFL. And so I got married and became a wife. ANd OMG how exciting, I finally became a mother- I think I wanted that hat more than any other ever, and that hat did not come easy for me at all. (Oh be careful what you wish for, LOL) and THEN I wanted to be an Aunt.becuz I had no neices or nephews yet that called me aunt (My bother did not make his kids use a title) and finally my sister had kids and taught them to say aunt especially for me. I had such fond affection for my own aunts, and thought it would be SUCH an honor. (and it is)

    I wanted to be a doctor, but, life did not afford me that opportunity in any way I could manage and work out....and by the time I was 40, I settled on being very excited to become a nurse.
    ANd now for so many years I have been a lot of things. Maybe too many, LOL, I am not sure.
    So for several years now I am ALWAYS so and sos wife, so and sos mom, Mrs So and so.....somewhere in the journey, I stopped being ME. I am referred to as an attachment to my husband or my children or a patient.....or whatever.

    It has gotten even more that way since I had to stop working.
    I did not realize how much I missed by being able to be ME sometimes.

    Tonite I got to be involved in something not related in any way shape or form to my parents, my siblings, my husband or my kids. I got to be involved in something that was not related at all to any of their difficulties, diagnosis'es or disabilities. it had absolutely nothing to do with their education, health, military status or our financial standing. It had a LOT to do with MY professional education, MY life experience and MY skills. As a human being. When I was spoken to, it was by MY name. MY FIRST name. My input was not looked on as undesireable, or stupid, or an intrusion. My opinion was truly valued. My efforts truly appreciated.

    It had been a LONG LONG time. I really really liked it.
    It sure felt good to not wear ANY hat tonite. It felt great just to be ME. Just for the sake of being ME.
    Yes, I still treasure my wife hat, and my mom hat, etc. I treasure them very very much. Yes, my husband is still my very best friend and I would give my very life for my kids most iwllingly without a 2nd thought. BUT my husband has been SO ill for SO long.....and he is not always "available" and my kids are growing and need me less intensely. I got way too used to IEP meetings, WRAP meetings etc where my input or opinion was less than appreciated.

    This felt SO good tonite.

    I wish for you all......to have some YOU time in some part of your day or week.
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Dreamer, this is so true. I haven't had a first name for nearly 17 years...always Miss KT's mom, or just Mom from several of her friends. Or Mrs. Hubby, because I'm a substitute teacher I hear that all the time.

    So glad you had some ME time, and that you enjoyed it so much!
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    How GREAT for you!!!

    I get what you mean about always having a hat on for someone else. Where the heck did I put MY hat? I know it's here somewhere! Sometimes it's hard to find time to even LOOK for the dang thing amidst all this chaos. But occasionally, I stumble upon it and try it on for a few minutes before the next fire alarm goes off....

    Some day, I'll be retired from all these other jobs and will be able to wear my hat all day, every day :)
  4. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    uh oh, I think I heard that a mom hat is non returnable, and permanant?- and that it can also sometimes lead to a larger hat collection, like a gramma hat? LOL

    Lately I have been somewhat interested in learning more about Red Hats and Pink Hats, LOL! Hmmm, I am thinking that it might be LACK of any hat at all when I get to just be me? Ah but, as soon as anyone hre NOTICES I have NO hat on, they are quick to plop one on my head?
    I wonder if thats payback from when mykids were little and I always kept these retro sun baby bonnets on my girls and a tiny baseball cap on my sun to keep the sunburn away? and then husband lost all his hair and I always made sure HE also had a hat on......maybe they are all just trying to return the favor to me? LOL! Or mabe they want me to have a hat on hoping to hide my view from my eyes in theback of my head? so I cannot see what they are doing? LOL