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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 622536" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>How cool of you to have seen this, ruppertk! </p><p></p><p>As this next little bit of time passes, it will be easier for you to reach for healing, easier for you to let go of who you thought you had to be to claim intrinsic worth.</p><p></p><p>I have been through that same kind of thing, myself. Taking my worth from outside, from assuming a role (mother, nurse, wife, perfect housecleaner, perfect cook, perfect...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.)</p><p></p><p>So boring and lonely to be in relationship with your own perfection. Was I perfect, did I fail, to what degree, would it have been better if.... I was so locked into myself! These things happened to me, in part, because of my upbringing. I needed to spend a little time reviewing what happened and what that had meant for where I believed my true value, my intrinsic worth, was measured. It was a little scary to confront those old demons? But it was so worth it, ruppertk. I began feeling a deep compassion for myself, for my bravery, for the losses I'd sustained. </p><p></p><p>For my happiness, even.</p><p></p><p>Maybe, none of this could have happened for you, had you remained locked into the role (and its restrictions) of your marriage.</p><p></p><p>I look back on the worst things in my life, and see that, once I was an adult, they were times of change. Change is the scary thing, not necessarily the loss of the person or the lifestyle.</p><p></p><p>To free float in comfort is an impossible thing to do. Yet, that is what we have to do.</p><p></p><p>All of us here on the site find ourselves in your position in a way, ruppertk. We are in the midst of change by choice. We are trying to see more clearly, even if we need to see beyond our own defenses to the hurt beneath, so we can be braver and stronger and can make better, more ethical decisions about ourselves and our lives and our children, in future.</p><p></p><p>For me, it has been worth it. I don't understand why it has to hurt this much to learn that we are enough, in ourselves. </p><p></p><p>It sure does, though.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 622536, member: 17461"] How cool of you to have seen this, ruppertk! As this next little bit of time passes, it will be easier for you to reach for healing, easier for you to let go of who you thought you had to be to claim intrinsic worth. I have been through that same kind of thing, myself. Taking my worth from outside, from assuming a role (mother, nurse, wife, perfect housecleaner, perfect cook, perfect...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.) So boring and lonely to be in relationship with your own perfection. Was I perfect, did I fail, to what degree, would it have been better if.... I was so locked into myself! These things happened to me, in part, because of my upbringing. I needed to spend a little time reviewing what happened and what that had meant for where I believed my true value, my intrinsic worth, was measured. It was a little scary to confront those old demons? But it was so worth it, ruppertk. I began feeling a deep compassion for myself, for my bravery, for the losses I'd sustained. For my happiness, even. Maybe, none of this could have happened for you, had you remained locked into the role (and its restrictions) of your marriage. I look back on the worst things in my life, and see that, once I was an adult, they were times of change. Change is the scary thing, not necessarily the loss of the person or the lifestyle. To free float in comfort is an impossible thing to do. Yet, that is what we have to do. All of us here on the site find ourselves in your position in a way, ruppertk. We are in the midst of change by choice. We are trying to see more clearly, even if we need to see beyond our own defenses to the hurt beneath, so we can be braver and stronger and can make better, more ethical decisions about ourselves and our lives and our children, in future. For me, it has been worth it. I don't understand why it has to hurt this much to learn that we are enough, in ourselves. It sure does, though. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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What have i done so wrong to make my adult daughter dislike me so much?
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