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What have we learned to help us cope, to make us stronger?
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 601700" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Welcome? Thank you for saying I am wise. I don't feel so wise. I feel like we are all coping with impossible situations. Our children are in trouble. We try to understand how to help them. Really, nothing we do seems to help them see that better way they could surely walk if they chose to. </p><p></p><p>So, we are left, alone and really lonely for that child to be okay. That is what we are so isolated in. That loneliness. We wish for our children to come back from the edge. They don't. We are left with trying to understand how to survive what has happened to us, to our kids, to our extended families. There is no solution, really. We see our own lives wasted on regret, on adjusting to shocking things we never saw coming.</p><p></p><p>One day, we decide to seek out ways we can live healthy, happy lives.</p><p></p><p>We are living in grief.</p><p></p><p>The way we need to go is to claim happiness. To do that, we have to feel better about ourselves than we have, when we've blamed ourselves for our children's pain and confusion.</p><p></p><p>It's really so hard.</p><p></p><p>But it is what it is.</p><p></p><p>We chose the role of mothers. Now, we have to choose a path that will bring us happiness as mothers, though our children are in pain. It's hard to separate their pain from our interpretation of pain. Someone told me once that if my child was not happy doing what he was doing, he would do something else.</p><p></p><p>I'm thinking about that, and about the right we all have to choose the paths we will walk. Maybe it's true that there is some divine purpose at work here that we cannot see. </p><p></p><p>That thought comforts me, sometimes.</p><p></p><p>If that could be true, then my correct path would be to accept that and cherish my own life, my own time. Joy is different than happiness. Joy is the concept I am thinking so much about, these days. Happiness depends on events. Joy is who we are, or can become. Something to do with acceptance, something to do with gratitude.</p><p></p><p>And we all have so much to be grateful for.</p><p></p><p>Loving our troubled kids is just part of our story.</p><p></p><p>Whether we lose our own lives to the tragedy is up to us.</p><p></p><p>At least, that's what I have to say, this morning.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 601700, member: 1721"] Welcome? Thank you for saying I am wise. I don't feel so wise. I feel like we are all coping with impossible situations. Our children are in trouble. We try to understand how to help them. Really, nothing we do seems to help them see that better way they could surely walk if they chose to. So, we are left, alone and really lonely for that child to be okay. That is what we are so isolated in. That loneliness. We wish for our children to come back from the edge. They don't. We are left with trying to understand how to survive what has happened to us, to our kids, to our extended families. There is no solution, really. We see our own lives wasted on regret, on adjusting to shocking things we never saw coming. One day, we decide to seek out ways we can live healthy, happy lives. We are living in grief. The way we need to go is to claim happiness. To do that, we have to feel better about ourselves than we have, when we've blamed ourselves for our children's pain and confusion. It's really so hard. But it is what it is. We chose the role of mothers. Now, we have to choose a path that will bring us happiness as mothers, though our children are in pain. It's hard to separate their pain from our interpretation of pain. Someone told me once that if my child was not happy doing what he was doing, he would do something else. I'm thinking about that, and about the right we all have to choose the paths we will walk. Maybe it's true that there is some divine purpose at work here that we cannot see. That thought comforts me, sometimes. If that could be true, then my correct path would be to accept that and cherish my own life, my own time. Joy is different than happiness. Joy is the concept I am thinking so much about, these days. Happiness depends on events. Joy is who we are, or can become. Something to do with acceptance, something to do with gratitude. And we all have so much to be grateful for. Loving our troubled kids is just part of our story. Whether we lose our own lives to the tragedy is up to us. At least, that's what I have to say, this morning. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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