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What I feared has arrived, now what?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 500480" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Buddy, thank you for asking. It's been a rough ride. I have felt angry, so, so sad and today, after 5 days of taking care of and trying to find homes for the 3 younger cats, we got the runaround from all the shelters we called. We were told to call the police and they would pick up the cats and take them to a shelter without euthanizing them, but no one gives us the straight story. I'm beyond frustrated, I'm angry that there is no one willing to help us. The police person we spoke to about the cats called my daughter in jail telling her what we were doing. She called me at work and I just flipped out. All my frustrations and angers from all the years just came spilling out. I said things I wish I hadn't and yet at the same time, it was all true, how much she has hurt so many, how any efforts are too little too late, now her father's family is involved and she has no idea of the wake of destruction and sorrow she leaves. I said at the end, <strong><u>"You are on your own."</u></strong> I am not bailing you out, I am going to find a safe place for your cats and that's it. I was so angry I was quaking inside. I still feel sick, numb, a sadness that is so deep, I didn't think this kind of pain existed. She is my child, she is in jail, she is clueless about anything that doesn't impact her, she sounds as if she is falling apart, I know her and I haven't heard her cry like this since her husband committed suicide 12 years ago, the beginning of the end for her. I'm afraid she will have a breakdown and I'm hoping she has a breakdown. I'm afraid of what will happen to her and yet I hope she stays in jail, she has no where to go. I went to the arraignment on Wed. she was appointed an attorney, whom I spoke to (as per a lovely person here on this site, who suggested I do that.) She has a hearing on Tuesday where the DA will make an offer.She is charged with burglary with a bail of $40,000. The animal police guy told us she will likely <u>not </u>get out because she is a transient, but he wasn't positive of that since she has no criminal record. She may get out. Where will she go? This is a terrible time for me, I have so many feelings that contradict each other I feel as if I will implode. Fortunately, I have support at home, therapy last night, CoDa groups, I'm basically okay, but this hurts, this is bad. I keep thinking of her in jail and my heart breaks and then I think of her in jail and I think she deserves to be exactly where she is, even if she didn't commit this crime. I don't know, is she capable of having an epiphany? I don't know, I have hoped for that for so many years, I've lost track. She has had so many losses, big giant ones, her husband, her children, her home, her job, her friends, everything is gone now, even the clothes on her back. She can't smoke in jail (at least I don't think she can) so all her defenses against feelings of sorrow and grief have no distractions to keep her looking elsewhere, the only place to look is at herself. At least I hope that is true. Sad as it is. I'm ranting, I know, so much inside me, yikes. Any input, advice, similar stories/feelings, prayers, I'm open to it all. Thank you for reading this tome. I appreciate it so much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 500480, member: 13542"] Buddy, thank you for asking. It's been a rough ride. I have felt angry, so, so sad and today, after 5 days of taking care of and trying to find homes for the 3 younger cats, we got the runaround from all the shelters we called. We were told to call the police and they would pick up the cats and take them to a shelter without euthanizing them, but no one gives us the straight story. I'm beyond frustrated, I'm angry that there is no one willing to help us. The police person we spoke to about the cats called my daughter in jail telling her what we were doing. She called me at work and I just flipped out. All my frustrations and angers from all the years just came spilling out. I said things I wish I hadn't and yet at the same time, it was all true, how much she has hurt so many, how any efforts are too little too late, now her father's family is involved and she has no idea of the wake of destruction and sorrow she leaves. I said at the end, [B][U]"You are on your own."[/U][/B] I am not bailing you out, I am going to find a safe place for your cats and that's it. I was so angry I was quaking inside. I still feel sick, numb, a sadness that is so deep, I didn't think this kind of pain existed. She is my child, she is in jail, she is clueless about anything that doesn't impact her, she sounds as if she is falling apart, I know her and I haven't heard her cry like this since her husband committed suicide 12 years ago, the beginning of the end for her. I'm afraid she will have a breakdown and I'm hoping she has a breakdown. I'm afraid of what will happen to her and yet I hope she stays in jail, she has no where to go. I went to the arraignment on Wed. she was appointed an attorney, whom I spoke to (as per a lovely person here on this site, who suggested I do that.) She has a hearing on Tuesday where the DA will make an offer.She is charged with burglary with a bail of $40,000. The animal police guy told us she will likely [U]not [/U]get out because she is a transient, but he wasn't positive of that since she has no criminal record. She may get out. Where will she go? This is a terrible time for me, I have so many feelings that contradict each other I feel as if I will implode. Fortunately, I have support at home, therapy last night, CoDa groups, I'm basically okay, but this hurts, this is bad. I keep thinking of her in jail and my heart breaks and then I think of her in jail and I think she deserves to be exactly where she is, even if she didn't commit this crime. I don't know, is she capable of having an epiphany? I don't know, I have hoped for that for so many years, I've lost track. She has had so many losses, big giant ones, her husband, her children, her home, her job, her friends, everything is gone now, even the clothes on her back. She can't smoke in jail (at least I don't think she can) so all her defenses against feelings of sorrow and grief have no distractions to keep her looking elsewhere, the only place to look is at herself. At least I hope that is true. Sad as it is. I'm ranting, I know, so much inside me, yikes. Any input, advice, similar stories/feelings, prayers, I'm open to it all. Thank you for reading this tome. I appreciate it so much. [/QUOTE]
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What I feared has arrived, now what?
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