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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
What if "IT" never gets better? Or, it gets worse?
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 565214" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>This may be lame, but could you write him a letter, pour your heart out, and either leave it for him in his room or email it to him? I sometimes do that with husband and daughter, but I give them a heads up that I'm going to be writing things out. They know that I'm more comfortable writing out my feelings, organizing my thoughts that way, rather than a "conversation" that is stonewalled by one of us, then it devolving into crying, yelling, etc. Letter writing helps me to not blurt things out, and I can revise my thoughts at my own pace.</p><p>I did write difficult child a long, heartfelt letter once, and he casually validated that he got it, recognized my feelings, but said he didn't agree with anything. Shut. Down. Big time. It just wasn't worth it, in my case. Sincerely, the only thing that worked with us was telling him we loved him, but he could not live with us if he was going to live like a druggie, etc. He was gobsmacked that we went through with it. However, keep in mind, he wasn't working, he was on drugs, he was bombing out in school, he was verbally and physically abusive, and he stole from us. Your situation is more subtle, less overt, so it's even harder.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 565214, member: 13882"] This may be lame, but could you write him a letter, pour your heart out, and either leave it for him in his room or email it to him? I sometimes do that with husband and daughter, but I give them a heads up that I'm going to be writing things out. They know that I'm more comfortable writing out my feelings, organizing my thoughts that way, rather than a "conversation" that is stonewalled by one of us, then it devolving into crying, yelling, etc. Letter writing helps me to not blurt things out, and I can revise my thoughts at my own pace. I did write difficult child a long, heartfelt letter once, and he casually validated that he got it, recognized my feelings, but said he didn't agree with anything. Shut. Down. Big time. It just wasn't worth it, in my case. Sincerely, the only thing that worked with us was telling him we loved him, but he could not live with us if he was going to live like a druggie, etc. He was gobsmacked that we went through with it. However, keep in mind, he wasn't working, he was on drugs, he was bombing out in school, he was verbally and physically abusive, and he stole from us. Your situation is more subtle, less overt, so it's even harder. [/QUOTE]
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What if "IT" never gets better? Or, it gets worse?
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