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Substance Abuse
What if "IT" never gets better? Or, it gets worse?
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 565249"><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'">Th<span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">ank you ladies...</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">and everything you've mentioned ... well that's my darn problem...</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">The news keeps talking about the "fiscal cliff" and I am all about the "difficult child cliff." It's like we are on the edge and he could either go over or he could run to safety. I just never thought he could TEETER for so incredibly long. (18 months+, no end in sight) Not that I am willing him to go over...and I am so afraid - since he is on the edge - that the wrong move could send him over. If only I could pull him back... and I can't. For a while, a portion of this quote from <u>The Catcher in the Rye</u> was a part of my signature:</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">"<em>"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around&#8212;nobody big, I mean&#8212;except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff&#8212;I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all..."</em></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><em></em></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"><em></em>And that's how I feel. And it was ages ago that it was part of of my signature yet nothing has changed really. It's exhausting. I realize it's his choice to go over or run to safety...but until he actually goes over...I have a shot at getting him back. And I never realized we could teeter for as long as we have. And now it's dawning on me that this may go on for years and even decades! And I am not sure I am up to it...the Italian in me (see avatar) wants to shout "BASTA e BASTA! ("enough is enough", when my grandfather or father said it, we knew they meant business) But I also know that any covert attempt to catch him from off the edge will more likely send him over. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">Patience is NOT my virtue...and I am weary. And sad. (and worried, and hurt and etc) My nature is to make lemons out of lemonade and to play the cards in my hand. I tend to spring to action - sometimes prematurely I'll admit. And I am so afraid of sending him over the edge that I am frozen. And being frozen is so against who I am, that it is burdening my soul. I am sorry to seem melodramatic, but that's how I feel. I am not one to stand on pretense. If you need someone to spring to your defense, or bail you out of jail or set you straight, or tell you if your dress is all wrong - call ME. I'll say it nicely or diplomatically or make you think it was your idea to change your clothes. But I won't let you down.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'microsoft sans serif'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">And this new strange relationship with my kid - while he is living under my roof - feels like I am wearing my right shoe on my left foot. Know what I mean??</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 565249"] [FONT=microsoft sans serif]Th[SIZE=4][FONT=times new roman]ank you ladies... and everything you've mentioned ... well that's my darn problem... The news keeps talking about the "fiscal cliff" and I am all about the "difficult child cliff." It's like we are on the edge and he could either go over or he could run to safety. I just never thought he could TEETER for so incredibly long. (18 months+, no end in sight) Not that I am willing him to go over...and I am so afraid - since he is on the edge - that the wrong move could send him over. If only I could pull him back... and I can't. For a while, a portion of this quote from [U]The Catcher in the Rye[/U] was a part of my signature: "[I]"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around—nobody big, I mean—except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff—I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all..." [/I]And that's how I feel. And it was ages ago that it was part of of my signature yet nothing has changed really. It's exhausting. I realize it's his choice to go over or run to safety...but until he actually goes over...I have a shot at getting him back. And I never realized we could teeter for as long as we have. And now it's dawning on me that this may go on for years and even decades! And I am not sure I am up to it...the Italian in me (see avatar) wants to shout "BASTA e BASTA! ("enough is enough", when my grandfather or father said it, we knew they meant business) But I also know that any covert attempt to catch him from off the edge will more likely send him over. Patience is NOT my virtue...and I am weary. And sad. (and worried, and hurt and etc) My nature is to make lemons out of lemonade and to play the cards in my hand. I tend to spring to action - sometimes prematurely I'll admit. And I am so afraid of sending him over the edge that I am frozen. And being frozen is so against who I am, that it is burdening my soul. I am sorry to seem melodramatic, but that's how I feel. I am not one to stand on pretense. If you need someone to spring to your defense, or bail you out of jail or set you straight, or tell you if your dress is all wrong - call ME. I'll say it nicely or diplomatically or make you think it was your idea to change your clothes. But I won't let you down. And this new strange relationship with my kid - while he is living under my roof - feels like I am wearing my right shoe on my left foot. Know what I mean??[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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What if "IT" never gets better? Or, it gets worse?
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