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What is Enabling
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 656382" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I'm reading along. I'm so sorry for the pain of it.</p><p></p><p>There is a clear devastation that goes on when our kids go off the rails and we realize that all of our love, all of our money and all of our concern and worry is NOT going to keep them safe, make them happy or turn them in to healthy, contributing adults. That is a pretty powerless place to be. As mothers I think the worst thing that can happen is to see our kids in anyway unhappy and NOT be able to change it. The crux of it is that we can't fix them or their problems once they are adults. And, that pain is excruciating because we love them so much. I understand that very well having lived through it too.</p><p></p><p>I do understand that there are poor therapists and counselors. But they are not all that way. I was fortunate enough to have one incredible therapist walk me out of that devastation and right on into acceptance, a place I never, ever thought I would get to. </p><p></p><p> From where Copa finds herself to acceptance? Yes, it can happen and does. There are quite a number of former members here who have moved on because they got through the devastation and found peace, regardless of what their kids are doing or not doing. I believe without help this devastation is almost impossible to remove oneself from, it is filled with minefields which blow up continuously and without a guide, a trusted and safe guide to keep showing us the way out, I do believe we have a pretty big chance of staying stuck in the suffering indefinitely. I always strongly recommend professional help........ for me, without it, I would still be wrapped up in that devastation..... worry, fear, sorrow, guilt and misery.</p><p></p><p>For those still having a hard time, please try to find someone, a therapist, a counselor, a support group, someone or somewhere you can go to get the support necessary to find your life, your joy, your peace......you deserve that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 656382, member: 13542"] I'm reading along. I'm so sorry for the pain of it. There is a clear devastation that goes on when our kids go off the rails and we realize that all of our love, all of our money and all of our concern and worry is NOT going to keep them safe, make them happy or turn them in to healthy, contributing adults. That is a pretty powerless place to be. As mothers I think the worst thing that can happen is to see our kids in anyway unhappy and NOT be able to change it. The crux of it is that we can't fix them or their problems once they are adults. And, that pain is excruciating because we love them so much. I understand that very well having lived through it too. I do understand that there are poor therapists and counselors. But they are not all that way. I was fortunate enough to have one incredible therapist walk me out of that devastation and right on into acceptance, a place I never, ever thought I would get to. From where Copa finds herself to acceptance? Yes, it can happen and does. There are quite a number of former members here who have moved on because they got through the devastation and found peace, regardless of what their kids are doing or not doing. I believe without help this devastation is almost impossible to remove oneself from, it is filled with minefields which blow up continuously and without a guide, a trusted and safe guide to keep showing us the way out, I do believe we have a pretty big chance of staying stuck in the suffering indefinitely. I always strongly recommend professional help........ for me, without it, I would still be wrapped up in that devastation..... worry, fear, sorrow, guilt and misery. For those still having a hard time, please try to find someone, a therapist, a counselor, a support group, someone or somewhere you can go to get the support necessary to find your life, your joy, your peace......you deserve that. [/QUOTE]
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