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General Parenting
What is forgiveness?
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 71573" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Thanks, Marg. It's been a tough couple of days. You're right. Whatever I call it, the past is the past. No one forgives future possible transgressions. </p><p></p><p>L's dad wrote an e-mail to me last night saying that he 'is looking out for L's best interests' and would 'take my concerns into consideration when making decisions about dealing with M.' Huh? M's is not his child! He's met M, to be certain, less than 50 times in 21 years. I forwarded it to husband, and he wrote back to bio-idiot 'Nuh-uh. M is not your kid and you don't want to make the mistake of stepping in because if it turns out badly we can and will point the finger at you. If any adults from the past are going to deal with him they will be guided by us, his parents.' L's Bio-idiot wrote back to husband, 'Oh, you misunderstood! I understand that it's not my place and I will not be a part of any reunification between L and M unless and until you ask. I'm sure that as adults they can handle it on their own.'</p><p></p><p>I am relieved, but still coming down off of my big worry jag. husband has a lifelong fear of doing anything that might be seen as aggressive, and in the past he has really not defended me or protected me in these situations. Most people see him as extremely easy going, but of course, when you live with it, you know it's . He has been on Paxil for about 8 weeks now, and admits that he feeling able to expand his comfort zone. I really had to push him to write that two or three sentences to bio-idiot last night because he wanted to go to bed after a long day out of town at work. I will use this to help husband to recognize how powerful he can be (for both of us!) when he speaks his mind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 71573, member: 99"] Thanks, Marg. It's been a tough couple of days. You're right. Whatever I call it, the past is the past. No one forgives future possible transgressions. L's dad wrote an e-mail to me last night saying that he 'is looking out for L's best interests' and would 'take my concerns into consideration when making decisions about dealing with M.' Huh? M's is not his child! He's met M, to be certain, less than 50 times in 21 years. I forwarded it to husband, and he wrote back to bio-idiot 'Nuh-uh. M is not your kid and you don't want to make the mistake of stepping in because if it turns out badly we can and will point the finger at you. If any adults from the past are going to deal with him they will be guided by us, his parents.' L's Bio-idiot wrote back to husband, 'Oh, you misunderstood! I understand that it's not my place and I will not be a part of any reunification between L and M unless and until you ask. I'm sure that as adults they can handle it on their own.' I am relieved, but still coming down off of my big worry jag. husband has a lifelong fear of doing anything that might be seen as aggressive, and in the past he has really not defended me or protected me in these situations. Most people see him as extremely easy going, but of course, when you live with it, you know it's . He has been on Paxil for about 8 weeks now, and admits that he feeling able to expand his comfort zone. I really had to push him to write that two or three sentences to bio-idiot last night because he wanted to go to bed after a long day out of town at work. I will use this to help husband to recognize how powerful he can be (for both of us!) when he speaks his mind. [/QUOTE]
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