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General Parenting
What is forgiveness?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 73399" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>What do you do if you were told, from little on, that YOU were bad and half believe you did such horrible things that you deserved it? Rationally, I pretty much realize that my mother's cruelty was because of her misperception of me and lack of understanding of mental illness (although I think SHE was also mentally ill), but 10 % of me still feels guilty. When I was at the sickest worst I DID say and do things that weren't appropriate. I apologized a billion times for my part in our rift, but she still was cruel--didn't want to meet my two youngest children, never called me even though I called her regularly, never said "I love you" back to me, and, as a final insult, chopped me out of her will. I don't care about the money--the hurt comes from being disregarded as if I didn't matter at all to her, as her firstborn. And I guess I didn't. But part of me thinks "Did I cause her to hate me this much?" HOW DO YOU GET PAST THAT? This has been eating at me for years. If anyone knows any books that could help, please let me know. I also posted this on Watercooler.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 73399, member: 1550"] What do you do if you were told, from little on, that YOU were bad and half believe you did such horrible things that you deserved it? Rationally, I pretty much realize that my mother's cruelty was because of her misperception of me and lack of understanding of mental illness (although I think SHE was also mentally ill), but 10 % of me still feels guilty. When I was at the sickest worst I DID say and do things that weren't appropriate. I apologized a billion times for my part in our rift, but she still was cruel--didn't want to meet my two youngest children, never called me even though I called her regularly, never said "I love you" back to me, and, as a final insult, chopped me out of her will. I don't care about the money--the hurt comes from being disregarded as if I didn't matter at all to her, as her firstborn. And I guess I didn't. But part of me thinks "Did I cause her to hate me this much?" HOW DO YOU GET PAST THAT? This has been eating at me for years. If anyone knows any books that could help, please let me know. I also posted this on Watercooler. [/QUOTE]
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What is forgiveness?
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