Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What is forgiveness?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 73794" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>I remember years ago when I worked with my Dad (I plead insanity on that choice). I ran, and helped, grow the company he started. I put my heart and soul into it. I was mainly responsible for it's 200% growth in 3 years. My younger brother, who also worked for him, would sometimes show up for work, and sometimes not. Dad never said made a fuss about that. He would even sometimes fall asleep on the job. And this was while sitting on heavy equipment. </p><p></p><p>I'll never forget a conversation I had with my Dad right before I left the company. He informs me that he is going to cut my salary by 20%, but my duties were going to be the same. "We have to make this company mean and lean" were his words to me. Then, in the very next breath he tells me how he is going to RAISE my brother's salary because "he wants to help him become more responsible". That was my Dad, always saving my brothers you-know-what. I'll never forget how my Dad gauged my reaction to my brother's raise. Like he knew he was being a complete amoral jerk by favoring on kid over the other, but hey it's just too much fun to watch the face of the kid that had been the most loyal to him up to that point.Of course, it only made my brother worse until he eventually became a full blown addict living on the streets. </p><p></p><p>And, as I write that, I feel the anger well up in me. Because, frankly, it deserves it! But, then I'll calm down, and focus my energy on things that are happening in my life now and put Dad, and my past, back on the shelf. </p><p></p><p>There is simply no one-size-fits-all moving on/forgiveness technique that is going to work for everyone. I think that each one of us has to forge a different path. Even if it's only just slightly. We can only point in the direct that worked for us.</p><p></p><p>Though, I think just by writing and sharing with us your struggle, you are already making a trail that will be just right for you. </p><p></p><p>In a way, my Dad got the last laugh on me, too. Actually, both me and my sister. That fantasically successful business I helped built? My Dad, being a addict gambler, ruined it within two years of my leaving. He could always do a great start up, and he was amazing with his ability with seing a trend, but he could never manage, and grow, his successes. I still cannot bear to drive by where the business used to be. It's just too painful. All that work down the drain and it simply didn't have to be that way. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, after the business ruin, my Dad began to have a series of health problems. He eventually died of cancer and didn't have a dime to his name (This after constantly reassurring me that he would have enough life insurance to cover his creamation).When he died I hadn't spoke to him in over five years. I just couldn't take it anymore. </p><p></p><p>Well, my sister and I ended up splitting the cost of cremation. It wasn't a whole lot of money, but still, in the end, that doggone creep make me shell out $$$. I just couldn't leave her with carrying the entire amount. My brother, new in recovery,of course, didn't have anything to contribute. </p><p></p><p>Deep cleansing breath.....</p><p></p><p>At this point, I have to switch gears on focus on MY life with MY family. That is where my energy needs to go. </p><p></p><p>I've gone on long enough about dear ole dad..</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 73794, member: 831"] I remember years ago when I worked with my Dad (I plead insanity on that choice). I ran, and helped, grow the company he started. I put my heart and soul into it. I was mainly responsible for it's 200% growth in 3 years. My younger brother, who also worked for him, would sometimes show up for work, and sometimes not. Dad never said made a fuss about that. He would even sometimes fall asleep on the job. And this was while sitting on heavy equipment. I'll never forget a conversation I had with my Dad right before I left the company. He informs me that he is going to cut my salary by 20%, but my duties were going to be the same. "We have to make this company mean and lean" were his words to me. Then, in the very next breath he tells me how he is going to RAISE my brother's salary because "he wants to help him become more responsible". That was my Dad, always saving my brothers you-know-what. I'll never forget how my Dad gauged my reaction to my brother's raise. Like he knew he was being a complete amoral jerk by favoring on kid over the other, but hey it's just too much fun to watch the face of the kid that had been the most loyal to him up to that point.Of course, it only made my brother worse until he eventually became a full blown addict living on the streets. And, as I write that, I feel the anger well up in me. Because, frankly, it deserves it! But, then I'll calm down, and focus my energy on things that are happening in my life now and put Dad, and my past, back on the shelf. There is simply no one-size-fits-all moving on/forgiveness technique that is going to work for everyone. I think that each one of us has to forge a different path. Even if it's only just slightly. We can only point in the direct that worked for us. Though, I think just by writing and sharing with us your struggle, you are already making a trail that will be just right for you. In a way, my Dad got the last laugh on me, too. Actually, both me and my sister. That fantasically successful business I helped built? My Dad, being a addict gambler, ruined it within two years of my leaving. He could always do a great start up, and he was amazing with his ability with seing a trend, but he could never manage, and grow, his successes. I still cannot bear to drive by where the business used to be. It's just too painful. All that work down the drain and it simply didn't have to be that way. Anyway, after the business ruin, my Dad began to have a series of health problems. He eventually died of cancer and didn't have a dime to his name (This after constantly reassurring me that he would have enough life insurance to cover his creamation).When he died I hadn't spoke to him in over five years. I just couldn't take it anymore. Well, my sister and I ended up splitting the cost of cremation. It wasn't a whole lot of money, but still, in the end, that doggone creep make me shell out $$$. I just couldn't leave her with carrying the entire amount. My brother, new in recovery,of course, didn't have anything to contribute. Deep cleansing breath..... At this point, I have to switch gears on focus on MY life with MY family. That is where my energy needs to go. I've gone on long enough about dear ole dad.. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What is forgiveness?
Top