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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 668073" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Lil,</p><p></p><p>If he chooses to behave in a such a way that he does alienate the whole family that is on him.</p><p></p><p>As for Christmas or any other holiday don't let him hold your emotions hostage.</p><p></p><p>I had one really bad Christmas because I felt so guilty about my son being down and out. Here I was hosting the annual family dinner (my husbands Italian family), I had 30 people in my house and I felt alone. I put on a good happy face but my one sister in-law pulled me aside and asked if I was okay. Doing my best to fight back the tears I told her how I was feeling. Our conversation that followed really helped to put in perspective. She asked me if he had called or messaged me to wish me a Merry Christmas. I told her no he hadn't. She asked me when the last time I had talked to him was and I told her it had been a few weeks. She asked what we had talked about and I told her he was wanting money and I told him no and then he got angry and started swearing at me, you know the usual. When I said that she looked at me and said "the usual??" you mean he does this a lot? I said yes. She then said "you have nothing to feel guilty about, he's obnoxious and rude. you and my brother have bent over backwards for him and he has never been anything but ungrateful. you have a house full of people who love you dearly and you're in here feeling sad because of someone who treats you like crap, what's wrong with this picture"</p><p></p><p>She really helped to cheer me up and the days that followed I really started to think about what she had said. I had nothing to feel guilty about. </p><p></p><p>Lil, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You and Jabber deserve this trip. You have dealt with so much this past year. You need to go and have the best time.</p><p></p><p>If your son is alone at Christmas it will be of his own doing.</p><p></p><p>You have come to far to get sucked back into the guilt vortex.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 668073, member: 18516"] Lil, If he chooses to behave in a such a way that he does alienate the whole family that is on him. As for Christmas or any other holiday don't let him hold your emotions hostage. I had one really bad Christmas because I felt so guilty about my son being down and out. Here I was hosting the annual family dinner (my husbands Italian family), I had 30 people in my house and I felt alone. I put on a good happy face but my one sister in-law pulled me aside and asked if I was okay. Doing my best to fight back the tears I told her how I was feeling. Our conversation that followed really helped to put in perspective. She asked me if he had called or messaged me to wish me a Merry Christmas. I told her no he hadn't. She asked me when the last time I had talked to him was and I told her it had been a few weeks. She asked what we had talked about and I told her he was wanting money and I told him no and then he got angry and started swearing at me, you know the usual. When I said that she looked at me and said "the usual??" you mean he does this a lot? I said yes. She then said "you have nothing to feel guilty about, he's obnoxious and rude. you and my brother have bent over backwards for him and he has never been anything but ungrateful. you have a house full of people who love you dearly and you're in here feeling sad because of someone who treats you like crap, what's wrong with this picture" She really helped to cheer me up and the days that followed I really started to think about what she had said. I had nothing to feel guilty about. Lil, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You and Jabber deserve this trip. You have dealt with so much this past year. You need to go and have the best time. If your son is alone at Christmas it will be of his own doing. You have come to far to get sucked back into the guilt vortex. [/QUOTE]
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