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What is reasonable?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 472337"><p>Kathy </p><p></p><p>What is reasonable is what feels right to you and what you would feel good about doing. I would check with the counselor about the sober house and when it would be available. That two week lag seems off to me. It would be better for her to go directly to the sober house from treatment if possible and i would ask if there is some option to do that.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you have already decided to not let her come home and are clear on that.... That sounds like a recipe for a relapse for all of you.</p><p></p><p>As to what i would do personally.... I would pay for her phone both to reach you, reach her sponser and in general safety....sure she could use it to make drug deals but we cant make all of our decisions based on trying to avoid her making bad ones. There are good reasons to give her the phone.</p><p></p><p>I think i would also buy her gas so she could get to meetings...seeing her and filling the tank is the way to go.</p><p></p><p>I would also take her out to eat and to visit when it works for you. Giving her some emotional support while shenis working on recovery is a good thing. If she gets manipulative and demanding then leave. It might be worth waiting until she is in a sober house so it is not about her trying to come home. And by the way if you are paying for the sober house pay them directly, do not pay her.</p><p></p><p>As far as DBT therapy i would pay that too, if she is ready for it and it is appropriate.</p><p></p><p>My philosophy with my son is that i am willing to help him help himself and to me treatment and therapy falls into that category.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 472337"] Kathy What is reasonable is what feels right to you and what you would feel good about doing. I would check with the counselor about the sober house and when it would be available. That two week lag seems off to me. It would be better for her to go directly to the sober house from treatment if possible and i would ask if there is some option to do that. I am glad you have already decided to not let her come home and are clear on that.... That sounds like a recipe for a relapse for all of you. As to what i would do personally.... I would pay for her phone both to reach you, reach her sponser and in general safety....sure she could use it to make drug deals but we cant make all of our decisions based on trying to avoid her making bad ones. There are good reasons to give her the phone. I think i would also buy her gas so she could get to meetings...seeing her and filling the tank is the way to go. I would also take her out to eat and to visit when it works for you. Giving her some emotional support while shenis working on recovery is a good thing. If she gets manipulative and demanding then leave. It might be worth waiting until she is in a sober house so it is not about her trying to come home. And by the way if you are paying for the sober house pay them directly, do not pay her. As far as DBT therapy i would pay that too, if she is ready for it and it is appropriate. My philosophy with my son is that i am willing to help him help himself and to me treatment and therapy falls into that category. TL [/QUOTE]
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