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What is strength? Enduring or Leaving a job.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 695883" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am not clear what my terms are. I guess I want a certain amount of money. The other thing I want is to not be a quitter. Then, I want to feel strong and be strong, whatever that would be.</p><p>Well, this is one component. To not be a quitter.</p><p>I think I should have said:</p><p></p><p><em>I will not be interrogated by you. That is not what I am here for. I am here to make clinical decisions as my training and experienced authorizes me to do. While I am here, speak to me as a professional, respectfully.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>And I would have walked away.</p><p>I do not think I was afraid of the result, of what might happen. I was afraid because <em>he was so out of line.</em> It is like I was afraid because<em> he was out of control.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>So my terms that I wrote above seem to be:</p><p></p><p>A quantity of money: Well that is clear cut.</p><p>Not a quitter: Not react. Not be reactive. Not leave to make icky feelings stop.</p><p>Feel strong, be strong: This is tougher. I have been doing a lot of thinking about how to respond to people as they affect you in ways that feel negative.</p><p></p><p>The first thing is to separate this man's behavior out from anything to do with me. What he did had to do with who he is, not anything to do with me. He made it about me, but I do not have to accept it, to take it on.</p><p></p><p>I could say, <em>when you calm down and can talk respectfully, we can talk about it.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>He is responsible for him. I am responsible for me.</p><p></p><p>So what I did after was act like nothing happened. I put it away on the back burner. I may not have been cordial or warm, but I was appropriately professional. I did not seek to have any conversation with him but I did not avoid them either. I smiled when I passed. I normalized interactions. He looked uncomfortable. I did not.</p><p></p><p>This is what I mean about be strong, feel strong.</p><p></p><p>What do you think the appropriate comment and action should have been by me, in response to his verbal aggression?</p><p></p><p>a. Nothing</p><p>b. I experience your tone as aggressive which is not acceptable.</p><p>c. walk away in the middle of his tirade without answering.</p><p>d. I do not think you understand the role of a contractor. I make my own treatment decisions. Is there something about that you object to? And then if he keeps going, go to a, b or c.</p><p>e. I am an independent contractor. I control how I work.</p><p>f. Something else.</p><p></p><p>By the way, I felt way better today, and am much calmed down. It is a hateful place. I will be happy to leave in 4.5 weeks. That is 19 work days.</p><p></p><p>Thank you everybody.</p><p></p><p>I will give notice no later than August 30th.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 695883, member: 18958"] I am not clear what my terms are. I guess I want a certain amount of money. The other thing I want is to not be a quitter. Then, I want to feel strong and be strong, whatever that would be. Well, this is one component. To not be a quitter. I think I should have said: [I]I will not be interrogated by you. That is not what I am here for. I am here to make clinical decisions as my training and experienced authorizes me to do. While I am here, speak to me as a professional, respectfully. [/I] And I would have walked away. I do not think I was afraid of the result, of what might happen. I was afraid because [I]he was so out of line.[/I] It is like I was afraid because[I] he was out of control. [/I] So my terms that I wrote above seem to be: A quantity of money: Well that is clear cut. Not a quitter: Not react. Not be reactive. Not leave to make icky feelings stop. Feel strong, be strong: This is tougher. I have been doing a lot of thinking about how to respond to people as they affect you in ways that feel negative. The first thing is to separate this man's behavior out from anything to do with me. What he did had to do with who he is, not anything to do with me. He made it about me, but I do not have to accept it, to take it on. I could say, [I]when you calm down and can talk respectfully, we can talk about it. [/I] He is responsible for him. I am responsible for me. So what I did after was act like nothing happened. I put it away on the back burner. I may not have been cordial or warm, but I was appropriately professional. I did not seek to have any conversation with him but I did not avoid them either. I smiled when I passed. I normalized interactions. He looked uncomfortable. I did not. This is what I mean about be strong, feel strong. What do you think the appropriate comment and action should have been by me, in response to his verbal aggression? a. Nothing b. I experience your tone as aggressive which is not acceptable. c. walk away in the middle of his tirade without answering. d. I do not think you understand the role of a contractor. I make my own treatment decisions. Is there something about that you object to? And then if he keeps going, go to a, b or c. e. I am an independent contractor. I control how I work. f. Something else. By the way, I felt way better today, and am much calmed down. It is a hateful place. I will be happy to leave in 4.5 weeks. That is 19 work days. Thank you everybody. I will give notice no later than August 30th. [/QUOTE]
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